Wednesday One-Liners Reach Maximum Occupancy

Professor: All the buildings in Florence are five stories high, because they were built before elevators, and that's how many stories you can walk up with groceries before you die.

--Fordham University

20-something tourist girl to family, about subway: It's like an elevator, but opposite.

--N Train

Bimbette: I, like, ran into them in the elevator and they, like, literally gang-banged me.

--Astoria

20-something woman: Do you think he ever found out I didn't fall down an elevator shaft?

--F Train