NYU girl: I love authentic ethnic food, but not authentic ethnic service. Could you please Americanize your demeanor when you hand me a plate? I like service with a smile. –Washington Square Park Emo girl to friend, laughing hysterically, with a huge smile on his face: Stop! You've used up two of my three allotted daily smiles. –R Train College boy: We should put them on our penises. So it looks like a smiley face every time we pee. –Williamsburg Math teacher, seeing smiley face on board: Is that a penis? –Hunter College High School