Guy saying goodbye to lady friend: Then I masturbated, and rubbed this sandwich all over myself! (proceeds to rub sub sandwich over his chest) –46th St & Broadway Overheard by: James Man to woman pushing stroller: That guy's kid beats the meat all day long! –66th St & Broadway Overheard by: Wow. Guy in trench coat: He masturbated the other day in order to expel… –Union Square Overheard by: Amused Girl: You really need good hand-eye coordination to masturbate. –Bard High School, Queens Overheard by: Sunny Guy on phone: So, even though we're not together anymore, you don't want me seeing other people? (pause) What am I supposed to do? (pause) What do I need to use my hand for? –White Plains Road Overheard by: Chad