Conductor, exasperated: We have a train directly behind this one. Why you are holding the doors, why? –1 Train Overheard by: JBeck Conductor, after unsuccessfully trying to close doors many times: Okay, listen up people… The subway cannot move if the doors can't close. So take a deep breath, suck it in, and when the doors close you can let it out! –6 Train Overheard by: Valerie Leventhal Conductor: Please, ladies and gentlemen, appeal to your sense of humanity and do not block the doorways. –F Train Conductor to himself, after leaning out and watching people squeeze through doors: You people are killing me. –F Train Overheard by: Adam P. Murphy