Guy on cell: I know people that have just cut the bottom off their t-shirt and pooped into that…

–Broadway & W 25th St

Woman to friend, waiting for light to change: Yes, girl! These damn Activia had my shit wrecked yesterday!

–Park Slope

Girl on cell: Tasha tried it, but she shit to much.

–Broadway & 102nd St

Woman on bus, shouting to bus driver: Fuck! I have to shit! Hurry, I have to shit!

–X10 Bus

Middle aged guy to: Yeah man, the best place to take a dump in high school was at the stadium behind the bleachers.

–71st & Columbus

Overheard by: This Charming Man

20-something to friend: And you know, he pooped on my pillow.

–Gramercy

Mailwoman on cell: Did a pigeon shit on your head, yet?

–Park Ave & 97th