Guy to girl: I'm going to go home and just, like, fart in a shoebox.

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: You do what you need to do

Man to woman at group lunch: That's because you sweat like a man. Seriously, she does! You sweat like a man. You fart like a man. You sweat and fart like a man!

–TGI Friday's

Woman to friend: You got to ride through dat bitch like a fart. One sniff and ya' gone.

–122nd St & Amsterdam

Father, wearily to little boy: For the last time, you can't get sick from a fart!

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Hunt-ner

Father to three-year-old daughter: You have to be careful with farts, sweetie, because sometimes they become shit.

–18th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: m