Customer to barista: Are your bathrooms open?
Barista: Yeah, there is probably someone in there now, though.
(10 seconds later)
Customer: Are there keys for the bathroom?
Barista: No, there is just someone in there.
(customer leaves)
Barista, really loudly: Man, that guy must have had to take a massive dump!

–Starbucks 33rd & 5th

Overheard by: Becky