Mom Chanted the Times Tables All During Her Pregnancy

Ghetto mother: How much is one times one?
Five-year-old son: Uh ... four?
Ghetto mother: What? Boy, are you serious? Yo... I don't know what to do with you anymore. You're ignorant. (gets up and walks to bathroom)
Five-year-old son, to people sitting around: I'm not ignorant.

--Staten Island Ferry