Man to woman: Males are hard-wired for stupidity. If there were no females around we'd be totally stupid. If there was nobody left on the planet but men, I'd kill myself.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Man to stranger next to him: I am going to go get a Shasta and kill myself. You'll probably never see me again.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Adam Freeman

Fat hobo : They will kill you. Their birth certificate says female, but they are really a man… Secret agent man!

–E Train

Overheard by: Rocco Macri

Man on phone: The thing is, I got a killer deal on the coffin.

–Brooklyn