Woman on phone: So I said 'that dick is off limits.' That's just how it is.

–Brooklyn

Teen on cell: So, I put my heel into some guy's balls last night…

–Canal & Bowery

Jamaican man to friends: No, Mon! Some guys like breasts and other guys like butts, Mon.

–Near Grand Central

Suit to friend, watching hot girl getting off enormous 4×4: How the hell am I supposed to make a world's smallest penis joke now!

–Sheepshead Bay

Overheard by: MistressSilver