Guy in bar to friend: You know what really sucks about the breakup? It took me two years to be able to fart in front of my girlfriend, and now I have to start all over again, holding them in. –Bar, Times Square Really drunk guy to herd of other really drunk guys: I was covered in the snow. Pooping and farting. –13th & 3rd Overheard by: Jenna Suit to another: By the way, her farts are terrible. –Central Park Boathouse Crazy man to himself: I farted. It's New Year's Eve and I farted. –Penn Station Overheard by: Max