Man on cell: I know, dude, I don't know why she's so pissed… I mean, I text her that I love her every once in a while. –59th St & Madison Ave Overheard by: Megs Guy to another in line for bathroom: I only have two problems in life: delayed text messages and premature ejaculation. But if I call Verizon, they can only fix one of those. –Phoebe's Bar Teenage girl to another: I would have spelled out "handjob," but the text would have been too long, so I went with "hj." –Park Slope, Brooklyn 20-something woman on cell: He texted her "shabbot shalom." So I called Moishe and I told him that he can't be texting a fourteen-year-old girl! –New York Sports Club, 62nd & Broadway Woman to another, standing at bathroom sink: He acts really gay, but he sends me really straight text messages. –Columbia University Overheard by: He's Gonna Break Your Heart