College dude to friend: And then the shit gets stuck to the head of your penis…

–Brooklyn College

Overheard by: It's Too Early For This

Guy to passive dude handing out postcards: Like I really give a shit 'bout your fucking shit.

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Natalie

Female tourist to boyfriend: These sandwiches would be good if they didn't have all this shit on them.

–Pret A Manger Sandwich Shop, Broadway

Asian chick: Same shit, different toilet.

–W 18th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Alex M.

Dude: Trust me, guy, once you shit yourself in front of your girl, the relationship changes.

–F Train

Overheard by: Fact.