Conductor to passengers, as he concludes announcement of delay in service: We apologize for your appreciation. –R Train Overheard by: Peter Emphatic conductor: Please do not stand in the closing doors. This is not your private dancer. –1 Train Overheard by: Tycho Anomaly Conductor: This is the station formally known as Prince! –N Train Overheard by: Jesus Jon Conductor: To everyone in the last car: this is not a bus. A bus has one door; we are a train, we have four doors per car. There are eight cars. That's 32 doors per train. Please use all of them. –R Train Conductor, upon attempting multiple times to close doors: People, listen up. The train doors close at different times. See me? Where I stand, from me on down, the doors close first. For the rest of the train, they close after the first doors close. That's right, watch yourself. Don't try to get in them other doors if those first doors are closed. Cuz they bout to close right now! –4 Train Conductor: This is a Coney Island-bound f train, next stop is Bergen. If you're in the mood for an adventure tonight, go across the platform and take the a train out to East New York, tell your mama you won't be coming home tonight. –F Train Overheard by: jj