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July 2003 Archives
Homeless Monologues
Hobo: Fuck God! I am God, and God is dead.
--Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Homeless Monologues II
Where: Bedford Ave., Yuppietown
Hobo: ...and the rest of you will be buried in cement!
Homeless Monologues III
Where: 42nd at 5th Ave.
Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?
Homeless Simon Says
Where: 14th St. Between 1st and 2nd
Hobo: Everybody stand up. Stand up!
Here's a confident artist
Young man in a cafe in Williamsburg: "So, what do you do?"
Older man: "I'm an artist--and one of my works is in the Whitney."
-- Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
Encyclopedia Generica
Where: Diner in Williamsburg
Yuppie on Cell Phone: You should come down! He's giving a concert tonight at Luxx.
I Only Date Action Figures
Where: Time Square Toys R Us
Cashier: May I have your phone number, starting with the area code, please?
Customer: You're not my type.
The Overprocessed Cow Flesh, However, is Feminine Enough
Where: Wendy's, Caesar's Bay
Mom Customer: "Can you exchange this Kid's Meal toy for me? I need something for a girl to play with."
An Argument Against Homosexuality
Guy: You are a compelling argument against homosexuality. You are a very pretty girl.
--72nd St Station
...and all my personal calls are annoying
Who: Puerto Rican teenage girl
Where: East Village
What: "I can set whatever rings I want on this phone for whoever calls me. So all my business calls are Scooby-doo."
Upper Body
One woman in her late 20's talking to another, in a Williamsburg cafe: "Her upper body's okay."
Nice guys can relate
A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone:
"I didn't realize what a good boyfriend Matt was.... yeah... he's too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions... his only problem is that he doesn't smoke pot."
You bring it back to yourself
Hipster on cell: You asked me how I'm doing, and I tell you--and then you bring it back to yourself. You always do that.
--Verb, Williamsburg
Change your Brain
Seen reading in the Starbucks in the Barnes & Noble on Union Square: a man in his mid-20s reading a book titled, Change your brain, Change your life
