Warsday One-Liners

Middle aged lady on cell: I don't care if he brings you flowers every day, you just need to remember what those bastards did to us during the war! –Post Office 30-something drunk man: Need a seat here! Any of you non-veterans want to give me a seat? I've got 300 confirmed kills at over 1,000 yards. (pause). Well, over 1,000 feet anyway. –Uptown A Train Short Jewish lady: Things were much better when there were harems full of women, and the men went off. To war! I think that was a much better system. –6th St & Christopher Overheard by: Hunter Freyer Street vendor selling knock-off handbags and sunglasses: Yeah, but in the military you can survive for weeks in Alaska… Naked! –56th St & 3rd Ave

Besides, I Love Her

Man #1: I swear, if she asks me if I love her one more time I’m going to punch her in the goddamn face. She’s driving me up a fucking wall!
Man #2: Maybe you should just break up with her.
Man #1: What, and be alone? –On 66 West cross town