…Keep Being the Bigger Person, Though

Woman: Thank you.
Cop: You're welcome. (pause) Hey, you know something? When you come to New York we're nice to you. When we come to Boston, you're not nice to us.
Woman: I know.

–42nd & 2nd


Maybe You Should Work on Your Accent

Woman #1: My principal says you can get French lessons as an iPod.
Woman #2: An “iPod”?
Woman #1: Yeah…they’re about 15 minutes long, they come on your computer, and they’re free.
Woman #2: Hmm.
Woman #1: Wait, I mean a podcast.
Woman #2: “Podcast”? Sounds like it comes from aliens. –Patisserie Claude, West 4th Street Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Like Everybody Who Works for a Living

Guy: You ever try Kopi Luwak?
Girl: No, who is he?
Guy: It’s not a he, it’s the world’s most expensive coffee.
Girl: That’s not the coffee that’s made from cat shit, is it?
Guy: It’s not made from cat shit.
Girl: They pick the beans out of the cat shit.
Guy: Sort of.
Girl: So that posers like you can drink it.
Guy: You don’t understand the concept of gourmet.
Girl: Maybe not, but I understand the concept of eating shit.

–Starbucks, Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liners in the Corner

Girl: Her baby was premature, and she already has health problems. She only has one liver.

–Puck Fair, Lafayette St

Girl: A human baby takes seven or eight weeks to look adorable. A puppy is cute right away.

–31st Ave & 44th St, Queens

Overheard by: Jake

Guy: Where is that crying baby coming from? It better not be in that trash can.

–18th St & 5th Ave

Woman on cell in bathroom stall: Well, shit, I wouldn’t had his baby if I’d known he was on drugs! Hang on… No, I’m in da bafroom. Da bafroom! Ok, later.

–Bathroom in office building, 51st St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: I’m using the one downstairs from now on…

Guy on cell: I wish the baby could go back into your stomach.

–Columbus Circle train station

Teen thug girl holding the Click DVD: Wait, we’re buying this and not baby food?

–Lincoln Park

Overheard by: WTF