He’s Still Bummed Because of It

Hobo: If anyone messes with you in the office, just take the palm of your hand an shove it into his nose. Once he messes with you he ain’t Jerry from accounting no more; he’s an assailant and the rest of the office will respect and fear you.
Woman: How did your last office job work out? –L train Overheard by: JDS

Harry Potthead

Guy #1: I should get a wizard hat! Do they sell those?
Guy #2: Dude, that would be awesome!

–Thompson St

Overheard by: DantePulaski