Guy: I do know a lot about plastic compounds. I think I could perform basic dentistry. I mean all they do is drill a little and then put some goo in your teeth, right? –1/9 train Overheard by: Jason Strom (Another reader overheard it a little differently.)
Woman on cell: I would totally bind my feet for a good pair of shoes if they didn't have them in my size.
Passing hobo to girl with violin case: You have very nice boots… for a musician.
–85th & Columbus
Overheard by: cisium
Lady on cell: Go to the bathroom? Put our shoes on? On my god!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk woman: I've been wearing high heels so long, my uterus is tilted!
Overheard by: Best line I heard all night
Woman complaining on phone: He's wearing high-heels, and it's raining!
–2nd Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: Thommy Tuff Nutz
Chick #1: Hey, who was Yasser Arafat?
Chick #2: Uh, wasn’t he the president of Mexico?
Chick #1: Kill me. –Washington Square Park
Dad to whiny three-year-old daughter: And now you're going to try and manipulate me by crying.
–186th St & Ft. Washington Ave
Girl to friends: That's just the way the world is. You don't see me cryin' whenever someone calls me a fat bitch or a short bitch or an ugly bitch…
–23rd & 8th
15-year-old boy: Yo, I'd cry if that happened to me, but I'm just sensitive like that.
Overheard by: pop pop
Girl: And then you know I take out my yo-yo and start dancing. And then you know I'm multi-tasking! I'm yo-yoing, dancing and crying all at the same time!
–LaGuardia High School
Woman on cell: Alex, stop crying. Stop crying. What about the breadsticks, were there at least breadsticks?
–34th & 6th
Promoter: Are you ladies interested in a comedy show tonight?
Girl: Not tonight.
Promoter: Ya know, that's called “bipolar.” They have pills for that.
Old lady: You know, I never liked the word ‘black.’ I much preferred ‘colored’ — it makes more sense. See, you’re not black, you’re brown like the color of toast.
Nurse: Ah, um, I’m just here to give you your meds.
–Albert Einstein Hospital
Girl #1: He is so racist.
Girl #2: He is such a racist!
Girl #1: I know! That’s why I was hitting on him! –Houston & 6th
Yuppie: Do you think my neighborhood is sketchy, too?
Friend #1: Well, the part where you walk past the abandoned warehouse *is* sketchy.
Yuppie: They're building an addition. In six months, abandoned no more.
Friend #2: I hear DUMBO is hot right now.
Yuppie: You know, whenever I tell anybody I live in DUMBO, it's like that movie Zoolander, whenever Hansel comes in and they all go, “oh, Hansel's hot now.”
–High Street Train Station
Dude: You know what I realized? Everything I need to know or see, I get from Wikipedia, YouTube or Urban Dictionary.
Philosopher: Yes, for they form the triangle of knowledge, first envisioned by the Incas. But once their triangle of knowledge gained too much power, it destroyed their civilization, and that is how one of the great civilizations of old fell.
Dude: … Damn, man, you always make shit deep.
Tweenie boy #1: Michael Jackson SUCKS!
Tweenie boy #2: Well, did you hear his music when he was black?
Tweenie boy #1: Michael Jackson was black?! –Central Park Overheard by: nas