And Now You Expect Me to Walk??

Girlfriend, exiting cafe: I told you you should have googled this place before we drove all the way here!
Boyfriend: I'm sorry. Let's just go into the city! Bars are open until five there!
Girlfriend: You couldn't entertain me in Brooklyn for half an hour. What are you going to do with me in the city until five?
Boyfriend: Walk up and down the city streets!

–Bedford Ave & 6th St

Your Editors Nodded Off Just Reading the Explanation

Asian girlfriend, walking down the street: You know those people from the anime Kekkaishi? I wonder how they could use their powers in the real world.
African-American boyfriend, holding her hand: I know… Border patrol. Ketsu, ketsu, ketsu! No way, Josés, are you getting over! Then they'll shrink them and send them back to Mexico city.

–Park Slope


Wednesday One-Liner’s Parents Used the TV as a Sitter

Hard hat: This is my idea, okay? Seriously, don’t try and steal it, because I think I can make this happen. Ready? The Fab Five visit Dog the Bounty Hunter’s show, and they give Dog and his whole crew a makeover.

–Construction site, 26th & 6th

Overheard by: Big Perm Black aesthetician, discussing Flavor of Love: I know that show’s gonna set my people back 50 years, but I just gotta watch it.

–Staff room, NYC Day Spa, 57th between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: massage therapist lurking nearby Jock: Last night we were so wasted we got naked and mounted the ram….and then watched Fraggle Rock. –Rose Hill Cafeteria, Fordham College student: Watching Dawson’s Creek is like studying for the SATs. –St. John’s University Nerdy teen: Oh my God, a refrigerator with a television in it. My life’s dream has just been realized. –Best Buy, 23rd & 6th Overheard by: nicolette Amateur media scholar: It’s not called Lost because they’re lost. It’s called Lost because the audience can’t follow it. –R train 20-Something guy to his date: But if you don’t have a television, how do you watch porn? –Koi, 40th & 6th Overheard by: UniqueNY