Feminism Didn’t Die, It’s Living Comfortably as a Stay-at-Home Mom in White Plains

Girl #1: I am like, totally addicted to Days of our Lives.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I am so fucked up, because this one character totally got fired and they put another guy in his place. I can’t even watch him, because, you know, he’s not the same guy.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, it’s really fucked up my TV viewing schedule. I mean, what am I going to watch, one of the judge shows?
Girl #2: Well, you could go to class or study instead….
Girl #1: I don’t need to. I’m studying to be a second wife. That girl’s shoes are so cute. They would match my bag. Excuse me, where’d you get those shoes?
Girl #3: My husband.
Girl #1: See, class dismissed.

–53rd St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Kimbers614

If Only Israelis and Palestinians Had a Common Football Team to Get Behind

Conductor over loudspeaker: Our next stop will be New York Penn Station, please make sure you have all your personal belongings when leaving this train… And for all you football fans out there, Giants just fucking won! Everyone can put their feet on the seats, we’re celebratin’ tonight!
Passengers: Yeah!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Vicksburg

A Good Salesman Could Sell One-Liners to a Wednesday

Harlem sidewalk hawker: Platinum jewelry, look me up! (crowd is silent) I got platinum jewelry, platinum! And white girls! I got it all!

–West 125th St.

Overheard by: Penelope

Subway huckster: Attention ladies and gentlemen. I have learned that if you can't find a job in this city, then you make one. I am selling gloves for one dollar. If one dollar is too much for you, I can be talked down to 99 cents, but I will be thinking bad things about you tonight. One size fits all. If they don't fit you, then you are one knuckle-draggin' neanderthal. (goes on to sell 50 pairs of gloves in 5 minutes)

–R Train,

Man selling whistles: Get your whistles here for one dollar! Safety on a string, baby, one dollar! (attractive girl walks by, he whistles) You need one, girl… It's summertime, people gettin' frisky up in this mother.

–60th & 2nd

Guy selling Obama condoms: Obama condoms! (pause, sees hot girl wearing purple scarf) Free demonstrations if you're wearing a purple scarf!

–Broadway & Spring

Man at vendor table: Sweaters! Two dollars! Two dollar sweaters! C'mon, people! Two dollar sweaters, nice sweaters too! (pauses) Okay, people, I'm about to raise these to ten dollars so get 'em now! Two dollar sweaters!

–Queens Blvd.

Chinese street vendor to absolutely nobody on crowded rush hour sidewalk: Fuck this shit!

–Canal St

Overheard by: lola