Wednesday One-Liners Support a Woman's Right to Shoes

Woman on cell: I would totally bind my feet for a good pair of shoes if they didn't have them in my size.

–Queens Boulevard

Passing hobo to girl with violin case: You have very nice boots… for a musician.

–85th & Columbus

Overheard by: cisium

Lady on cell: Go to the bathroom? Put our shoes on? On my god!

–113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle

Drunk woman: I've been wearing high heels so long, my uterus is tilted!

–PATH

Overheard by: Best line I heard all night

Woman complaining on phone: He's wearing high-heels, and it's raining!

–2nd Ave & 12th St

Overheard by: Thommy Tuff Nutz

“There's No Wednesday One-Linering in Baseball!”

Dad to whiny three-year-old daughter: And now you're going to try and manipulate me by crying.

–186th St & Ft. Washington Ave

Girl to friends: That's just the way the world is. You don't see me cryin' whenever someone calls me a fat bitch or a short bitch or an ugly bitch…

–23rd & 8th

15-year-old boy: Yo, I'd cry if that happened to me, but I'm just sensitive like that.

–A Train

Overheard by: pop pop

Girl: And then you know I take out my yo-yo and start dancing. And then you know I'm multi-tasking! I'm yo-yoing, dancing and crying all at the same time!

–LaGuardia High School

Woman on cell: Alex, stop crying. Stop crying. What about the breadsticks, were there at least breadsticks?

–34th & 6th

Life Imitates… Art?

Yuppie: Do you think my neighborhood is sketchy, too?
Friend #1: Well, the part where you walk past the abandoned warehouse *is* sketchy.
Yuppie: They're building an addition. In six months, abandoned no more.
Friend #2: I hear DUMBO is hot right now.
Yuppie: You know, whenever I tell anybody I live in DUMBO, it's like that movie Zoolander, whenever Hansel comes in and they all go, “oh, Hansel's hot now.”

–High Street Train Station

And Don’t Even Get Him Started on Hollywood Squares

Dude: You know what I realized? Everything I need to know or see, I get from Wikipedia, YouTube or Urban Dictionary.
Philosopher: Yes, for they form the triangle of knowledge, first envisioned by the Incas. But once their triangle of knowledge gained too much power, it destroyed their civilization, and that is how one of the great civilizations of old fell.
Dude: … Damn, man, you always make shit deep.

–Q65A bus