The Kite Was a Nice Touch

Woman #1: I didn’t want to wash my hair today, so I put powder in it, but I put too much. I look like Benjamin Franklin.
Woman #2: No, who’s the electricity guy?
Woman #1: Benjamin Franklin.
Woman #2: Yeah, you look like Benjamin Franklin.

–F train

Overheard by: Bex

Funny, That's What #96B269 Said…..

Excited girlfriend: Hey, are these soap bars?
Disinterested boyfriend: I don't know, why don't you drop one and find out?

–Bath & Body Works

Headline by: Harriet

Runners-Up:
· “And Nine Months Later…” – Junior

· “Dating Ex-Cons Has Its Drawbacks” – Mike
· “Part Of Bloomberg’s “Clean Up the Village!” Program?” – Bobo D Clown
· “Prison Etiquette 101″ – Kosi


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

There Should Be an IQ Prerequisite for Adultery

Man #1 spotting bench pressing Man #2: So, how’s the wifey?
Man #2: Oh, man, things aren’t good.
Man #1: What happened?
Man #2: Her phone went dead so she borrowed mine. It was loud at the bar, so she went into the bathroom… She read my text messages. I had been texting some girl I hooked up with.
Man #1: Delete! Dude, delete!
Man #2: I know, but I even had her under a code name, ‘Rubes,’ because I met her through Ruben!

–Gym, Midtown

Overheard by: SwrrlGurll

Wednesday One-Liners Hope for Conjugal Visits

Trench coat guy on cell: Are they arresting you?

–72nd & West End

Overheard by: orlum

Woman rushing inside: Oh my god! I was almost an eyewitness to something!

–Viacom building, 44th & Broadway

Overheard by: bonster

Man on cell: I’m sorry to bother you, but I really don’t wanna go to jail…

–S 2nd & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: Are All Criminals So Polite?

Guy: That’s so true! He’ll willingly go to jail just for the free sex!

–Union Square Park

Chick toting a baby: Yeah, but I ain’t qualify fo’ that ’cause of all them felonies I got.

–Ridgewood, Queens

Overheard by: Grytsayo