Preteen Boy #1: Get her, fuck her, leave her.
Preteen Boy #2: Is that what you do?
Preteen Boy #1: Hell yeah. Teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Teabagging?
Preteen Boy #1: Yeah. Get in and get out. That’s teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Ha, ha! Teabagging!
Preteen Boy #1: Hey, how do you spell Utah?
Preteen Boy #2: U… U…
Preteen Boy #1: Tell me how to spell Utah, motherfucker!
–Smith/9th St. Station
Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
He Meant Auto-fellated
Girl: “Teleported.” That’s what he said.
Boy: What?
Girl: You know, teleporting.
Boy: Oh, okay, yeah.
Girl: He said he teleported himself, but it turned out he was lying!
Boy: Really?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
Now Serving: Miss Modular
A DJ who has gotten too big for her britches finishes playing a Rubber Rodeo song.
Indie guy: Great song. So…you’ve got my info?
Miss DJ: Yes. I have your e-mail. We’ll be in touch.
Mr Bartender: If you’re going to be in touch with that boy, can I watch?
–Mondo, Bar 169
The Hipster Glass House
Hipster, sitting in a cafe for two hours chatting on his cell phone: You will never do anything if you procrastinate. –Atlas Cafe, Williamsburg
I was born yesterday
Recent college graduate #1: Have you ever seen an actual 8-track?
Recent college graduate #2: Yes, I’ve seen one–but I’ve never seen a movie on one.
– Private apartment, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
Hanging up is just too hard
Woman, screaming into her cell phone: I SAID I DON’T KNOW YOU. I CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER. I’M NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE QUESTIONS FROM YOU. I DIDN’T WANT TO CALL YOU. I DON’T KNOW YOU. I DON’T KNOW. I THOUGHT THIS WAS SOMEONE ELSE’S NUMBER. I DON’T WANT TO DISTURB YOU. I DON’T KNOW! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT? I DON’T KNOW YOU. I DIDN’T MEAN TO ALL YOU. I’M NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE QUESTIONS. BYE. –Union Square Park
Bill Cosby Is Spinning in His Grave
Black Kid #1: Yo nigga, how long are we taking this train up? Yo dumb nigga, answer me.
Black Kid #2: Yo what?
Black Kid #1: How long are we taking this train up for?
Black Kid #2: I don’t know.
Black Kid #1: Niggers are dumb anyway.
–F Train
Sausage Fest Y2K4
Man #1: I am getting ready to throw my annual party soon.
Man #2: Dude, just remember to invite women this year.
–Central Park
Snappy Questions to Stupid Answers
Mother: Hey, have you been to the freak show…lately? –Coney Island Boardwalk Overheard by: Matt Law
Swing Low Sweet Chariots
Teen girl #1: I hate you. Your boobs are always so cute and perky!
Teen girl #2: Yeah, but when I’m not wearing a bra, they’re like…down to my navel.
–Kew Gardens