November 2004 Archives

You Can't Spell Aneurysm Without EU

Businesswoman: Even though they smoked like chimneys and drank like fish, whatever, the south of France and Italy used to be much healthier than us.

--Midtown office


Posted 2004-11-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Which Means...Massive, Massive Shoes

Chick #1: I just stepped on the nicest man.
Chick #2: You stepped on him?
Chick #1: Yeah, he was really nice about it. He must have massive, massive feet.

--LES


Posted 2004-11-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just One Block From Park Ave...

A bike messenger almost plows through the crowd at a crosswalk.

Messenger: You gotta look! You gotta look!
Black Woman: Nigger, you look! You ain't drivin' no car!

--44th & Madison


Posted 2004-11-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

There Must Be a Correlation

Queer #1: So what's your name?
Queer #2: Yanni.
Queer #1: No fucking way! That's my name!

--Rawhide, Chelsea


Overheard by
: Greg Rutter


Posted 2004-11-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's Master Shake Who Needs a Whuppin'

Man: If I punch Spongebob in the face, it would be because he is living at a higher moral standard than me, as a role model to children.

--Toys 'R Us, Times Square


Posted 2004-11-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

"The black eye is from the BF, I think."

NYU Girl #1: Oh my god! I was so drunk this weekend, and now my legs are covered in bruises. They look terrible, you have no idea. I don't even know how I got them.
NYU Girl #2: Ha, ha! I love when that happens. I love drunk bruises.

--NYU Elevator


Overheard by
: Stephanie


Posted 2004-11-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Mythical Land...of Brighton Beach

Businessman: She said there's an area in Brooklyn where all they speak is Russian. You can go blocks without hearing English. They refuse to speak it.

--Midtown office


Posted 2004-11-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And You Call Yourself A Guy...

Guy #1: Do you think you could ever date her?
Guy #2: I don't know.
Guy #1: Why not?
Guy #2: I can't picture myself having sex with her.

--Tower Records, 66th & Broadway


Overheard by
: Josh Caldwell


Posted 2004-11-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

A Universal Scene

Into an intercom, a drunk girl yells: I know you don't want to see me, but I'm downstairs!

--Avenue A & 3rd Street


Overheard by
: Sebastian Forsythe


Posted 2004-11-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

What's Cooler Than Star Trek? (Besides Everything)

HS Girl: That's all she talks about. She watches Star Trek, she talks about Star Trek, she gets Star Trek tattoos all over her body.
HS Guy: At least my tattoo is cool.

--4 Train


Overheard by
: Kaitlen


Posted 2004-11-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just in Time for the Holidays...

Hippie: What color is your aura?
FIT girl: I think my aura has black and white stripes.
Hippie: Vertical or horizontal?
FIT girl: Horizontal...no, vertical.
Hippie: Is that because vertical stripes make your aura look fat?
FIT girl: Yeah.

--26th & 8th


Overheard by
: Armchair Messiah


Posted 2004-11-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Readers: Answer This Overheard Question

Suit: Rock and roll? Rock and roll? What is that?!

--43rd & Broadway


Overheard by
: Kaitlen


Posted 2004-11-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'm Thankful for My Alcoholism

Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you'll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I've seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood.

--Midtown Office


Posted 2004-11-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'm Thankful for My Alcoholic Boyfriend

Girl: He comes home from work and immediately drinks about four or five Coronas. I mean, I know he's Swedish and they look at alcohol differently in Europe, but come on! Four or five all at once? I'm like, hey, isn't that a little much?

--7th Avenue & West 29th Street


Posted 2004-11-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Welcome to NY; Hurry the Hell Up

Woman: So I asked for a slice with mushrooms, and the girl's like 'Well, can you wait?', and I'm like 'This is New York! No, I can't wait!'

--Association of Graphic Communications, 7th Avenue


Posted 2004-11-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Something Bloody Something

Businessman: There was a flatbed truck on 5th Ave. There were all these musicians in it with their guitars, and everyone was chanting Bone-o!.
Woman: That's U2.
Businessman: Oh, OK. I wanted to say, "Which one's Bone-o?"
Woman: Which one's Bozo, you should have said.
Businessman: The little guy; is he Spanish?
Woman: No.
Businessman: He said, "Buenos dias." I wanted to know if that was him.

--Burger Heaven, 49th St.


Posted 2004-11-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just Say Non!

Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I'm just kidding.

--Midtown Office


Posted 2004-11-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's Italian for Moron

Patron: What kind of sauce is on the linguine alla marinara?

--Olive Garden, Chelsea


Overheard by
: Brad Palmertree


Posted 2004-11-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Can't Tell, But We're Cyber-blushing

Guy #1: Dude, I was at work today, just shootin' the shit, killin' some extra time, and I came across the fucking coolest website.
Guy #2: Oh yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, it's called OverheardinNewYork.com. It's just all these little snippets of overheard conversations, they're fuckin' hilarious!

--Irvine Spectrum, Irvine, California


Posted 2004-11-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

NYC: Home of Free Political Commentary

Homeless preacher: Any man can be President, but only one man can be in the White House: the White Man.

--53rd & 5th Ave


Hobo
: My pope, he's a terrible pope.


--52nd & Broadway


Posted 2004-11-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Urine: The Other Universal Language

Tourist chick: Of course he doesn't speak English...at least until you piss on his floor.

--Chinatown


Posted 2004-11-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Etymology of the Absurd

Fax Guy: I never made that bet with you. We didn't shake on it.
Fax Girl: You can't do that. We had a bet. You believe this shit? He's trying to renig on the bet.
Tech Guy: Um, isn't the term renege? Like, short for renegotiate.
Tech Girl: Not with this nigger it's not.

--Downtown Office


Posted 2004-11-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Love Me, Love My Haberdasher

Old Woman: You're not making fun of my hat, are you? Better not be. Lots of flowers on this hat, it's a fine hat. I love this hat. Your problem is, you got no love in you. Not for hats, not for nothing.

--McDonalds, St. Mark's Place


Posted 2004-11-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Eat in the 3rd Person

Billy: Can anyone help Billy out so Billy can get dinner? Anyone? No? Thanks a lot!

--Taco Bell, Union Square


Posted 2004-11-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Now All NYC Knows

Teen guy: Pardon me, miss...did you know I have tremendous nipples?

--Donnell Library, W. 53rd Street


Posted 2004-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Almost Naked Cowboy

A guido is wearing a black jumpsuit and hat when a middle aged woman approaches him.

Woman: Hey...cowboy hat, eh?
Guido: (tips hat) You got that right.
Woman: And is that...velour too, huh?
Guido: You bet. Only the finest.
Woman: Don't even tell me. You wearing a g-string under that?
Guido: Actually, how did you know?

--MSG


Overheard by
: Jay G


Posted 2004-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Complete Me, Microsoft Word

Businessman: I'm sure glad I found that document. I was about to cry.

--Midtown Office


Posted 2004-11-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Ramblings of the Elderly

An old woman is drumming up contributions for the SPCA.

Young Man: Good luck!
Old Woman: We don't need luck, we need cooperation. Does Bush say good luck to the soldiers? No, he just sends in more troops! Come on! Don't be a phony.

--Kinko's, 20th St. and 6th Ave.


Overheard by
: Lucian Piane


Posted 2004-11-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Need Some Flipflops for the Next Blizzard

Shopper: Will you have spring shoes out next week?
Saleslady: What?
Shopper: Spring shoes! Next week?
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yeah, downstairs they told me you always have the next season's shoes out one season ahead.
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yes! Spring! Next week!

--Macy's


Overheard by
: Roxy Chanel McPink


Posted 2004-11-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

My Nuts are Chickpeas

Guy: I'm crazy about her! Every time I go down on her, her pussy tastes like hummus!

--East Village

Overheard by: Nicole Weber


Posted 2004-11-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

"...but mostly, I'm grateful for emphysema."

Guy #1: Hard to believe it's Thanksgiving already.
Guy #2: Next week.
Guy #1: How much do cigarettes cost in Florida?

--Ranch 1, Times Square


Posted 2004-11-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Crossfire for the Dim-witted

Black Girl: Yeah, it's like some Irish guy waving a British flag around.
Spanish Girl: Why you gotta be saying that? How do you know half my family ain't Irish?
Black Guy: You want politics, you want diversity? L.E.S., baby, L.E.S., is where it's at!

--Karma, 1st Ave.


Overheard by
: Tibbie X


Posted 2004-11-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wednesday One-liners

Woman: I really hope that you start doing some shit that's smart.

--Broadway & Waverly


Businessman
: The CEO's a good ol' Italian goombah from Bayonne.


--Midtown Office


Posted 2004-11-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

They'll Be Sure to Win the Special Olympics Pageant

Indian Girl: Oh my God! Our kids are going to be mad cute!
Asian Guy: Hell yeah! No doubt about it, with my looks and your height.
Indian Girl: Oh, and plus my body.

--Union Square


Posted 2004-11-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

She's Demilingual, You Know

Idiot: You speak European as well?
Chick: I speak... uh... I don't know what I speak.

--East Village


Overheard by
: Nico Westerdale


Posted 2004-11-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hold the Mayo

Woman: Having sex with him was the same as eating a slice of plain Wonder bread while looking in the window of a Crate and Barrel.

--York & 70th


Posted 2004-11-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Nipples Tasted Like Raisins

Blonde: I had to spend 10,000 fucking dollars to get my boobs fixed. They were, like, all puckered and withered.

--43rd and Madison


Posted 2004-11-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Readers: Answer This Overheard Question

Activist: Hey, fur bimbo! How'd you get the blood off your hands?

--St. Mark's Place


Posted 2004-11-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Used It to Sign My Soul Away

Woman: Does anyone have something I could write with?
Mother: I do! One second.
Woman: Great, thanks.
Mother: Be careful, it's my most favoritest pen.

--LaGuardia


Overheard by
: Jess Kimball


Posted 2004-11-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's All That Buttered Popcorn...

Guy: Damn, this escalator's small...fat bitches can't get on this.

--Movie Theater, Times Square


Overheard by
: Alayna


Posted 2004-11-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Chorus to a Terrible Song

Woman #1: Are you going to be here for Christmas?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For--
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For--
Woman #2: Yah.

--Duane Reade, Greenwich Village


Posted 2004-11-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

One Can Only Imagine How

Guy: We've got to tell Allison, because she had Paulreubens.com until he made her stop.

--8th Ave. & 6th St.


Posted 2004-11-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Tragically, the LP Died

Customer: Do you have a recording of Astrud Gilberto singing, "The Girl from Emphysema?"

--Times Square


Posted 2004-11-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Be Paranoid; OverheardInNewYork is Listening...

Woman: So it's top secret. I think I'm going to quit in January.

--500 Madison Avenue


Posted 2004-11-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Where Can I Possibly Find a Coffee?

Woman: Can I have a coffee?
Ice Cream Lady: You want coffee ice cream?
Woman: No, coffee.
Ice Cream Lady: Oh, we don't sell coffee.

--Coldstone Ice Cream, Astor Place


Overheard by
: Alayna


Posted 2004-11-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Another Dot-com Victim

Into an unplugged phone, a hobo yells: Honey, honey, I told you not to call me in the office!

--LES


Posted 2004-11-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

No Comment Necessary

Latina: It's supposed to say jewelry, but it says jewry, cuz it's ghetto.

--Clinton


Overheard by
: Meredith


Posted 2004-11-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hey, It Works With All Three Definitions!

Artist: Where are you from?
Tourist: Israel.
Artist: Shalom.

--SoHo


Posted 2004-11-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Story of My Life

Woman: He's such a great guy. If he were taller, I'd marry him. I admire him so much, and he's gorgeous.

--Astoria


Overheard by
: Todd Seavey


Posted 2004-11-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

How to Break Up, NYC Style

Guy: Man, what you have to say is, 'This is me. This is you. And this is the door!'

--Bedford Ave


Overheard by
: Mark P


Posted 2004-11-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Most Polarizing Overheard Ever

Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don't want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don't know, they're...
Fratboy #1: They're fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah.

--1 Train


Overheard by
: Josh Caldwell


Posted 2004-11-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hey, You're A Winner Here!

HS Boy #1: Today's Wednesday. Why are you leaving early?
HS Boy #2: We have playoffs.
HS Boy #1: Playoffs are Thursday.
HS Boy #2: No, they changed them to Wednesday.
HS Boy #1: Oh. Have fun losing.
HS Boy #2: Yeah, it sucks.

--4 train


Overheard by
: Kaitlen


Posted 2004-11-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Not Even Bong Barbie?

Hipster chick: Ugh, dolls. Dolls are so creepy. I'm never letting my kid have a doll. Drugs, yes. Dolls, no.

--UES


Posted 2004-11-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Dry Wit Gets Wet

American Businessman: What are you doing in Mexico?
British Businessman: Drinking. Continuously.

--Office, Midtown


Posted 2004-11-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

How We All Feel

The train coming from New Jersey arrives in New York. An Elderly Italian man turns to his friends and says: Aah, back to civilization!

--Penn Station


Overheard by
: Kaitlen


Posted 2004-11-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

More Bookstore Fun

Woman: Excuse me, where are the literary journals?
B&N Guy: Them's over there.

--Barnes & Noble, Union Square


Posted 2004-11-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Republic of Nutty Texas

Texan Guy #1: Wow, I haven't owned an overcoat in years!
Texan Guy #2: In Texas if you wear one they'll shoot you! It means you're a bank robber.

--Madison Ave & 43rd


Posted 2004-11-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Race + Power = Racism, Kevin Claims

Hobo: Excuse me peoples, but can I get a dime or quarter?
College Student: Sorry, I can't help you sir.
Hobo: Thanks a lot, whitey!

--161st Street, The Bronx


Overheard by
: Peter Whalen


Posted 2004-11-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Check and check!

Guy : Yeah, Portland's great...if you're into heroin!

--East Village


Posted 2004-11-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Short v. Short of Hearing

Guy #1: Damn, she was short!
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Damn, she was short!
Guy #2: Who?
Guy #1: That lady!
Guy #2: Oh, yeah! She was short!

--E Train


Posted 2004-11-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Here's a Hint: Look for the Steps

Woman: Hey, we should go to Alaska sometime.
Man: Alaska? We can't even find our way downstairs!

--Eskimo Diorama, American Museum of Natural History


Posted 2004-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Stewie Has His Moments

Chick: Who's he talking about?
Guy: Family Guy.
Chick: Oh, I hate that guy.

--Bensonhurst


Posted 2004-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Kids These Days, I Tell Ya...

Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up!
Kid #2: "Bam" doesn't blow up, "bam" makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can't defeat that!

--6 Train


Posted 2004-11-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Wonder Who He Voted For?

A driver almost runs over a kid.

Driver: Look at the light! Look at the light!
Kid: Look at the street!
Driver: Go back to Russia, you fuck!

--Bensonhurst


Posted 2004-11-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Sadly, This Isn't Fiction Either

Woman: Do you have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: Well, everything that's not fiction is non-fiction. [Over] there's cooking, and there's history.
Woman: No, that's not what I asked. Do you have a section for non-fiction?
Book guy: Well, there are no non-fiction novels. Everything here that's not a novel is non-fiction.
Woman: But you don't have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: No. Everything that isn't fiction is non-fiction.

--Barnes & Noble, Staten Island

Overheard by: Dr. Ballon


Posted 2004-11-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...If Not, Can I?

Guy: Has anyone ever accidentally dated you and your sister at the same time?

--Diner, 22nd and 9th


Overheard by
: Greg Rutter


Posted 2004-11-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Oh, Are They Getting Married?

Drunk Skank #1: ...cause that's what we're celebrating.
Drunk Skank #2: What're we celebrating?
Drunk Skank #1: The Bush/Cheney thing.
Drunk Skank #2: Oh yeah!

--49th and Broadway


Overheard by
: Anne C.


Posted 2004-11-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

New York is not America

Guy on cell: Yeah, our lives suck but at least John Kerry was elected President. Oh, wait! I have to hang up now and go kill myself.

--Washington Square Park


Overheard by
: Alice Ayers


Posted 2004-11-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Don't Know English, I'm American

Spinster #1: How do they pronounce it in French 'Oh Bow Pain'?
Spinster #2: Well, it is French and you pronounce 'Au Bon Pain'.
Spinster #1: I don't know French; I'm Spanish.

--Au Bon Pain, Union Square


Overheard by
: Tamika J.


Posted 2004-11-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Because She Peed on the Rug?

Guy: I massaged this girl today. She might as well have been a shar-pei.

--Restivo's, 22nd and 7th


Overheard by
: Steven Coombs


Posted 2004-11-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

More of a Novella than a Memoir

Chick: Yeah, the story of my life: he was good looking, I had sex with him twice.

--Manhattan Triple Decker Diner, Greenpoint


Overheard by
: Heather Galore


Posted 2004-11-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Unlike All Other Cultures, Which Are a Product of Our Country

Bimbo: So are you ever going to move back to Europe?
Eurotrash: I was thinking about that a couple of times when I was really, really depressed in LA. American culture is such a product of the country.

--Soho


Posted 2004-11-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

They Speak Portuguese in Spain, You Know

Yuppie #1: I only went to Brazil for a month, but on my third day there I met her.
Yuppie #2: Women in South America are so hot. Especially Brazil and Spain.

--Belgian Beer Bar, Greenwich Village


Posted 2004-11-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Band Assumed As Much

Chubby Chick: Dude, I missed your set because I was hungry!

--Opaline, Ave. A


Posted 2004-11-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then Why Am I Laughing?

Club Promoter: Do you guys like comedy shows?
Chicks: No!
Club Promoter: That wasn't funny.

--34th & 7th


Posted 2004-11-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Technically That Means That We Suck

Art Dealer: Have you been following the election? Are you going to vote?
Man: They both suck.

--Washington Square


Overheard by
: Ray Hannigan


Posted 2004-11-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

When Stereotypes Come to Life

Hasidic Jew: How much is this detergent?
Cashier: $2.99.
Hasidic Jew: Never mind. I'll put it back.

--Rite-Aid, Bensonhurst


Posted 2004-11-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Definition of Pollution

Drunk Girl: Ha ha, I'm talking so loud. I'm making such ear pollution.
Drunk Guy: Nooo, it's called noise pollution...
Drunk Girl: But like, what is noise pollution?
Drunk Guy: I dunno...I think it's like when you're vulgar, so I try not to curse all the time. That way, when I say like "oh fuck" everyone will be all like "Whoaaaaaa."

--NYU Dorm Elevator


Overheard by
: Stephanie


Posted 2004-11-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Irony, huh?

Moron: See how the taxis always drive on the right side of the street? That's so they can pick people up easier. I was just thinking about that. That's smart of them, huh?
Human: But taxis always drive on the right side of the street.
Moron: Exactly.
Human: No, I mean they have to. Always.
Moron: I know. Smart, huh?

--57th & Park Ave


Overheard by
: Heather


Posted 2004-11-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook


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