AM New York guy: Man, it’s like I was tryin’ to say–
Metro New York guy: Nah, tell Shorty he needs to eat that pussy.
–Hanson Place & Atlantic Avenue, Fort Greene
Overheard by: Frank Smith
Archive for January, 2005
See, We’re Not So Unlike the Midwest in NY!
Woman: That’s where I got that crappy muffin. I can’t believe they serve muffins with no sugar. The only source of sucrose was in the blueberry. And there was only one blueberry! –21st & 5th Overheard by: TG
“…I’m also sacrificing you to Pazuzu, after brunch.”
The light changes. A nanny begins to walk, pushing a baby stroller. Halfway across the street, she looks down sort of lovingly, meets eyes with the baby and says with an eerily calm tone: You know I’m sacrificing my happiness for you. The nanny looks up and keeps on walking. –59th & 5th Overheard by: Drone
Presenting: The Worst Sentence Ever Spoken
Brainiac: Maybe AIDS wouldn’t be such a problem in Africa if they’d stop buttfucking each other so much. –Midtown office
Don’t Go Past the Sale
Old Man: They have salads here. Next time we should just come early and eat here.
Old Lady: Okay, we could try that next time.
Old Man: They have Caesar salads, and cobb salads, and pasta salads–
Old Lady: That sounds good. We’ll try it next time.
Old Man: –they have California salads, and tuna salads, and–
Old Lady: Okay, Harvey! We’ll eat here next time!
Old Man: …they have sandwiches, too.
–Avery Fischer Hall
Overheard by: Heather
When Bad Puns Come to Life
Waiter: …and how about a bread? Perhaps a poori or naan bread.
Guy: Naan for me thanks.
Waiter: Are you sure? It is very good bread…
–Mitali, E. 6th St.
Overheard by: John
New Yorkers: Laughing (at Others) in the Face of Adversity
Young woman: Excuse me, is there any more room for you all to move in? The passengers just laughed at her as the doors closed. –A train, 86th St. station (The day after the fire)
I Feel the Need…The Need for Speed!
Man: Hey, Chris! Wow! You look great! You have lost so much weight!
Chris: Thanks. Not a diet though, I’m a crystal meth addict.
–Chelsea
When Bad Writing Comes to Life
Him: You know what I’m saying, because I was all “you know what I’m saying”, you know what I’m saying?
Her: I have no idea what you’re trying to say.
–Sea Thai Bistro, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
What is Winter, If Not the Frozen Aged?
Very old woman (to hobo): …I already told you! If I had any money, you think I’d be walking out here in this? –2nd Ave. & 16th St. Overheard by: garrett