Older gentlemen: How much did this boat cost?
Younger guy: 1.6 billion dollars. It’s the only boat of its kind.
Older gentlemen: Well that ain’t for us; we think it’s for us but it’s for the tourists…
–The Guy Molinari
Overheard by: Lou
Archive for January, 2005
What is Fatherhood, If Not Guns and Alcohol?
Flygirl #1: My brother was like mad drunk when his lady went into labor. He was gonna beat up these guys that were messing with our little brother, but he didn’t have his gun. He passed out but his friend got his ass to the hospital.
Flygirl #2: He gonna be such a good daddy.
Flygirl #1: Yeah.
–2 train
Yes, But Her Nickname is The Cocktease
Dude: We have called you The Breast Fondler for like two years and she wouldn’t even let you fondle her breasts? Doesn’t she know your nickname? –6 train Overheard by: Matt Stoudt
That Don’t Justify Your Becoming a Hooker
Pretentious snob lady: New York is soooo Vegas these days. –Times Square
You’ma Look Like the Most Popular Girl in the Class
Teen Girl #1: …and like it felt like something was crawling…it felt weird.
Teen Girl #2: Didya scratch?
Teen Girl #1: Hell naw! What I’ma look like, scratchin’ my crotch in front of the whole class?
–D train
The World’s Slowest Darwin Award
Teenage guy: Dude, I just coughed up a little speck of blood. Do you think I could have another cigarette or is that a bad idea? –68th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Cully
Oh my god! Oh my god! Not even close!
Tourist lady: Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s ground zero! –Construction site, 42nd & 6th
Racism and Chauvinism, All In One Sentence
Guy #1: My girl’s got Asian eyes, though.
Guy #2: Man, but it’s not her eyes anybody looks at.
–Ave A & 6th Street
Overheard by: Heather
An Overheard NYC Weather Report
Old man: Well, it’s colder out there than a mother-in-law’s kiss. –Snack Taverna, Bedford St. Overheard by: Aria Sloss
Popeye! Look What’s Become of Wimpy!
Hobo: I’ll let you blow smoke up my ass for a cheeseburger. –McDonald’s, West Midtown