Archive for March, 2005

Surely She Doesn’t Mean Ronald reggiN?

Woman: …you know, he was much darker than the other kids who were really white, so he was called a nigger. He was dyslexic.
Man: Wha?
Woman: But he was a strong boy. One time when he was bitten by a dog, I came in to his room and he was lying there with blood on him. He didn’t scream or say a word…a very strong boy.
Man: What are you talking about? –Times Square

The Short Bus to the Candy Shop

HS girl: Do you listen to 50 Cent? Oh, my god, he is so good!
HS guy: Do you know what they say when you are listening to 50 Cent?
HS girl: What do they say?
HS guy: What are you listening to when you have two quarters next to your ear?
HS girl: Ha, ha…I don’t get it. –Q46 bus Overheard by: Ting

Mouthfuls of Wednesday One-liners

Scottish chick on cell: He’s sort of like the John Tesh of tonsils, isn’t he? –60th & 1st Overheard by: zunshyn Guy: I think I know enough about compound plastic to perform basic dentistry. –1/9 train Overheard by: Kathryn Galloway Tech kid: I can, like, smell which microphone you’re using. –NYU Education building, Washington Square east

Gross! Wednesday One-liners

Old man: I don’t even like taking the subway anymore because the tiling is so disgusting. –28th Street station Overheard by: Nico Westerdale Guy: Every time I see him, I want to wash myself. –South Street seaport Queer on cell: Whores! You are W-H-O-R-E dash I-B-L-E. That’s what you are. You’re whore-ible. –50th between 8th & 9th

Missing Pieces of Wednesday One-liners

Bald spot chick: I’m bipolar, depressed, and I have a personality disorder, but the doctor says if I quit pulling out my hair he’ll change me from twenty-four medicines to nineteen. –Broadway & 51st Woman: I don’t care how blind you are, you gotta cover your ears when that happens. –23rd & 7th Woman: There aren’t enough websites for club-thumbs on the internet. –Midtown office

Lunchtime! Wednesday One-liners

Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita. –Broadway & Astor Place Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits. –M23 bus Overheard by: Jon Graboff Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here. –Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street Overheard by: james uphoff