Archive for March, 2005

Missing Pieces of Wednesday One-liners

Bald spot chick: I’m bipolar, depressed, and I have a personality disorder, but the doctor says if I quit pulling out my hair he’ll change me from twenty-four medicines to nineteen. –Broadway & 51st Woman: I don’t care how blind you are, you gotta cover your ears when that happens. –23rd & 7th Woman: There aren’t enough websites for club-thumbs on the internet. –Midtown office

Wednesday One-liners: The Next Generation

Thug: I need a girl who’s responsible and don’t got no kids. –40th & 5th Dude: Are we talking about the truth now? The truth is that you’re scared that she’s going to take your son away from you! –27th Street office Black guy on cell: Yeah, it was actually all right. We were both circumcised. –Union Square greenmarket Overheard by: Lisa Ramaci

Lunchtime! Wednesday One-liners

Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita. –Broadway & Astor Place Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits. –M23 bus Overheard by: Jon Graboff Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here. –Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street Overheard by: james uphoff

Wednesday One-liners: The Animals

Receptionist: It takes two shots to bring down a bengal tiger! Two! –20th Street office Overheard by: Animal Chick on cell: Oh, so honey, they aren’t actually tents for dogs; they’re just tiny display tents for the large ones. –North Face, 73rd & Broadway Woman: She feeds chickens to other chickens. It’s gross. It’s like, if there was a husband and wife, she would chop up the husband and feed him to the wife. –1/9 train