Archive for March, 2005

Let’s Stir Up Some Hilarity!

Receptionist: So, it’s your name on the insurance card?
Girl: No, it’s my partner’s.
Receptionist: Your husband?
Girl: No, my partner.
Receptionist: What’s his name?
Girl: Emily.
Receptionist: Your husband’s name is Emily?
Girl: She’s a girl.
Receptionist: Oh…Ohhh. –Park Slope ob/gyn Receptionist: Do you have an appointment here?
Guy: Yes, I’m the 3:35.
Receptionist: No, you’re not.
Guy: Oh yes I am.
Receptionist: This is gynecology.
Guy: Ah. –W. 72nd St. ob/gyn

New Yorkers: As Seen on TV

Woman #1: Excuse me, does the N train stop at Central Park?
Woman #2: Lady, go ask a fucking crystal ball, or learn how to read a damn subway map. –Union Square station Overheard by: Craig D A truck driver is parked on the side of the road, honking at what appears to be nothing at all. A female pedestrian shoots him a dirty look. Truck driver: Nobody’s honking at you, you dumb bitch! –Bay Ridge Tourist: Which way is the Empire State Building?
Newspaper vendor: What do I look like, a fuckin’ road map? –outside Grand Central Overheard by: Dork A trendy guy walked out into oncoming traffic, forcing an SUV to slam on the brakes. The driver screamed out of his open window: The hell you think you are, my hood ornament? –40th & 7th

Not All Stories Have a Happy Ending

B&T Guy #1: It’s easy. All you gotta do is give her 20 bucks.
B&T Guy #2: Then she jerks you off after she’s done?
B&T Guy #1: I wish! –Banshee Pub, 74th & 1st Overheard by: Michael Yuppie #1: …yeah, those girls don’t want just 20 bucks.
Yuppie #2: Yep, no such thing as free sex in Vietman. –Maritime Hotel, 9th Ave. Overheard by: Chaser