Chick #1: I think Moron Titty is a great code name. Like, if you go into the CIA? I think you should be Agent Moron Titty.
Chick #2: Yeah, my nipples have an I.Q. of, like, 75.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: djlindee
Archive for April, 2005
Plan B: Sit on a Hive
Girl #1: She is like, mad flat.
Girl #2: I know, right?
Girl #1: So I hear that she wears two pairs of pants to make her butt look bigger!
–A train
Rick Santorum, Eat Your Heart Out
Queer #1: Honey, my vagina is itchy.
Queer #2: So scratch it.
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: Winnie
Does She Fuck Chicks or Does She Fuck Eggs?
Graphics girl: OK, I’m a chitter-chatterbox.
Editor: Did you just say you’re a chicken pederast?
–27th Street office
Where Are They Now?: Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
Preppy guy: Are you sure?
Non-Preppy guy: I’m telling you…I think she’s a prostitute.
Preppy guy: She doesn’t have the face for it.
Non-Preppy guy: I know, but she does have the body.
Preppy guy: That’s a fucking shame if she is one. Her family has billions and billions of dollars. She doesn’t need to be doing that.
–Prime Burger, 51st Street
Overheard by: Shirley Grace
Gypsies and Germans? Sounds Familiar…
Girlfriend: Is that a caravan outside Deutsche Bank?
Boyfriend: Pikeys.
–Wall & William
Just So Long as You Remember to Swallow
NYU chick #1: Aren’t vegetarian hot dogs just as sketchy as normal hot dogs?
NYU chick #2: Maybe, but I would rather eat the stamen of a sketchy plant than the anus of a sketchy pig.
–Criff Dogs, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: djlindee
Fucking a Hamburger is Kind of a Gray Area
Boy #1: Do you want to split a bun?
Boy #2: No! I’m not gay!
Boy #1: “Split a bun” means a fucking hamburger, you asshole!
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: CAP
It’s Not Capitalism If There Aren’t Hobos with AIDS
Woman #1: I’m talking about beggars who ask for money, say they have AIDS, and will spit on you.
Woman #2: That’s not really begging anymore, now is it?
Woman #1: No…that’s called Free Enterprise.
–70th & 2nd
Overheard by: nita
They Prefer the Term “Mole People”
Construction worker #1: Make it look nice for the homeless here!
Construction worker #2: Oh yeah!
–Broadway/Lafayette station