Society is Collapsing All Around Us

Guy: I wish they played music in these things so it wouldn’t be so awkward. –Midtown elevator Overheard by: Gabe Connor

I Think That Kid Was Flirting

Teacher: Settle down! You three are always running around like you’re in a parade or something!
Goofus: Mister, you’re your own gay pride parade. –R train

The Seamen Just Kept On Coming

Fashionista #1: I lost my virginity on a cruise.
Fashionista #2: Have you ever been on a cruise?
Fashionista #1: By “cruise” I mean “Russia”. –Midtown office

Sorry, the Correct Answer is “Scatophage”

Woman #1: You just know that’s going to be David in a few years. The one with $6 million just sitting in the bank.
Woman #2: I know. You wouldn’t expect it of him, though.
Woman #1: Yeah. I’m still trying to figure out what kind of insane he is.
Woman #2: Hmm. Manic, maybe? –6 train

They Know Not What They Do…or Say

Guy #1: I don’t care about the goddamn pope anymore! What is it, it’s on the front page of every paper. Who cares?
Guy #2: I know, he’s going to die in a few years anyway. –20th & 7th Overheard by: Tom

Rarely is Anti-Semitism This Explicit

Chick #1: He’s so hot.
Chick #2: Eww.
Chick #1: What eww?
Chick #2: Um, he’s wearing a shirt that says “Spin my dreidel, and by dreidel I mean cock, and by spin I mean suck”.
Chick #1: That is a valid point. –Asylum, Bleecker Street Overheard by: djlindee

Too Bad She Stole Your Jewelry

Middle-aged woman #1: Yeah, my cleaning woman is the greatest! Last time, she color-matched and coordinated all of my lipsticks and arranged them in a row for me!
Middle-aged woman #2: Oh my god! I’d swoon! –Midtown elevator

The Torch Has Been Passed

Guy: Have you seen Torch?
Girl: Oh, he dead. He fell out a window.
Guy: Ohhhh shit! –D train Overheard by: dopepope

Save It for Valentine’s Day

Girl #1: Did you see how drunk he was?
Girl #2: Yeah, that’s why I was hurrying him off the bus. I just knew he was going to vomit on me. I could see it…the vomit. Not tonight. –Morris Park, The Bronx Overheard by: Reg Johnson

How Many Licks Does It Take?

Freestyling hobo: Sex on TV will never stop. My big dick in a lollipop. Bonus: The blueblood ladies walking by gasped. –40th & 2nd