Woman: Hi, I just realized today that my wallet was stolen a month ago. –Chase Manhattan, Broadway & 73rd Overheard by: Susan Volchok Guy: I’ll have a Mahatma grande. –Starbucks, Broadway & 98th Lady: If it was a real fortune-teller or whatever, they’re not supposed to charge you, right? –78th & 2nd Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Man: I’m, like, the MacGyver of orthoscopic surgery. –David Copperfield’s, York Avenue Girl: I don’t know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t gone back to school. I’d probably be dead or in jail or pregnant and living in Brooklyn or something. –F train Overheard by: Heather Goth guy on cell: You can’t divide by infinity! Infinity is a concept, not a number! How many times do I have to tell you that? –Penn Station Overheard by: Lesley Brooke Fat lady: I was Rubenesque before I was fat. –Metropolitan Museum of Art Overheard by: Dawn
Guy: Golden retrievers are beautiful animals. If I were a golden retriever, I would be so vain! –Shade, Sullivan Street Guy on cell: Oh, you want a doggy treat? When I get home I’ll give you a big fat bone. –34th & 8th Woman: Peter! Dog poop is not a toy! –CPW & 65th Street Overheard by: Johnathan
Queer on cell: Michael Alig…yeah, I don’t remember those years so well. –1st & A Hood on cell: Yo man, that bitch stole two ounces of coke from my house!…She’s your friend, you go get it back! –outside The Martini Red Lounge, Staten Island Overheard by: Becka Dash Guy on pay phone: …and Santa’s reindeer won’t be coming home! –Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: Traczie Bellinger
Girl: If your cat has kittens, can I name one of them Chairman Meow?
Guy: If my cat has kittens, I’m going to put them in a plastic garbage bag and fling them into the river.
Girl: That’s not very gentlemanly. –9 train Overheard by: djlindee
Guy #1: Man, she’s hot.
Guy #2: But does she need that walker? –Bensonhurst
Sorority girl #1: How are things going with him?
Sorority girl #2: Okay, I guess. I mean, his favorite band is the Smiths, so I’m like “you need to get out of 1999, dude.” –Blue Ribbon bakery, Downing Street Overheard by: Adam Graham
Suit #1: …and he’s been playing on that game City of Heroes for two months straight now.
Suit #2: You reckon he’s still alive?
Suit #1: Well, he’s been typing nothing but “J” for a whole week on MSN. –JFK Overheard by: Pete Jones
Customer: Christ, there are beautiful women every time I come in here.
Cashier: Yeah! All day long! It hurts! –St. Mark’s Gourmet Market, St. Mark’s Place
Woman #1: He was complaining about how pussy tastes.
Woman #2: Well, that’s a fucking valid complaint, if I ever heard one. –70th & 2nd Overheard by: nita