Archive for April, 2005

Translation: He Gives Bad Head

Hipster girl: It’s like, OK, we only see each other when we’re drunk, and he doesn’t seem that interested, and we never have a decent conversation, and he might be gay, but on top of everything he’s also a Red Sox fan. He even made fun of Bernie Williams once.
Hipster queer: So that’s really the clincher for you?
Hipster girl: Well, you know, there’s a limit to how many areas where you can be incompatible. –Metropolitan bar, Williamsburg

It’s Not Like He Can Crash It

Conductor, doors closing at East Broadway: This is a Manhattan-bound F train, next stop Steinway Street. Conductor, doors closing at Delancey: This is a Manhattan-bound F train, next stop 23rd Street.
Girl: Should I be worried? –F train Overheard by: Suzanne

A Different Sense of Screaming Queer

Queer: So how was your date?
Hispanic chick: Oh, it was nice, he was nice and sweet, and a real gentleman, you know, he would hold open doors, make sure to walk between me and the street, you know, really nice.
Queer: Oh, you know what that totally screams?
Hispanic chick: What?
Queer: That totally screams: I want to get into your vagina right now! –6 train Overheard by: Luke Reynolds

It’s Short for Wigfield

Duane Reade cashier: Hey! Hey, security! What’s your name?
Duane Reade security: Huh?
Dunae Reade cashier: Your name, fool! What’s your name?
Duane Reade security: Wiggy.
Duane Reade cashier: What?
Duane Reade security: Wiggy. W-I-G-G-Y. That’s not my government name though. –Duane Reade, Broadway & Canal Overheard by: K. Thor Jensen

Kind of a Lapsed Jew

Jewish guy: You know, all the famous people are Jewish, like Einstein, and–
Black guy: Man, shut the fuck up, what the fuck is wrong with you? Ain’t you ever heard of Martin Luther King, Jr.? He ain’t Jewish; hell, that motherfucker ain’t even white. Jesus Fucking Christ!
Jewish guy: Very good! Jesus Christ! –E train Overheard by: Ting