Queer on cell: Michael Alig…yeah, I don’t remember those years so well. –1st & A Hood on cell: Yo man, that bitch stole two ounces of coke from my house!…She’s your friend, you go get it back! –outside The Martini Red Lounge, Staten Island Overheard by: Becka Dash Guy on pay phone: …and Santa’s reindeer won’t be coming home! –Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: Traczie Bellinger
Girl: If your cat has kittens, can I name one of them Chairman Meow?
Guy: If my cat has kittens, I’m going to put them in a plastic garbage bag and fling them into the river.
Girl: That’s not very gentlemanly. –9 train Overheard by: djlindee
Guy #1: Man, she’s hot.
Guy #2: But does she need that walker? –Bensonhurst
Sorority girl #1: How are things going with him?
Sorority girl #2: Okay, I guess. I mean, his favorite band is the Smiths, so I’m like “you need to get out of 1999, dude.” –Blue Ribbon bakery, Downing Street Overheard by: Adam Graham
Suit #1: …and he’s been playing on that game City of Heroes for two months straight now.
Suit #2: You reckon he’s still alive?
Suit #1: Well, he’s been typing nothing but “J” for a whole week on MSN. –JFK Overheard by: Pete Jones
Customer: Christ, there are beautiful women every time I come in here.
Cashier: Yeah! All day long! It hurts! –St. Mark’s Gourmet Market, St. Mark’s Place
Woman #1: He was complaining about how pussy tastes.
Woman #2: Well, that’s a fucking valid complaint, if I ever heard one. –70th & 2nd Overheard by: nita
Guy #1: See ya, Scotty!
Guy #2: Wasn’t Scott supposed to be dying or something?
Guy #1: Well he still is, just a little slower now than before. He’s the only guy I know who can get a bacterial infection at the dentist. –Madison Square Park
Woman #1: I really don’t think you’re leading him on.
Woman #2: That’s what everyone says…but they don’t know I’m grabbing his ass every day. –Bloomingdale’s, 59th Street Overheard by: djlindee
Hipster girl: It’s like, OK, we only see each other when we’re drunk, and he doesn’t seem that interested, and we never have a decent conversation, and he might be gay, but on top of everything he’s also a Red Sox fan. He even made fun of Bernie Williams once.
Hipster queer: So that’s really the clincher for you?
Hipster girl: Well, you know, there’s a limit to how many areas where you can be incompatible. –Metropolitan bar, Williamsburg