Archive for May, 2005

The Irony is That Said Shirt was Brown

Stoner #1: So this fucking idiot was like, “Communism is the way, comrade.” And I was like, “Okay then, give me your shirt.” And he was like, “What, man?” And I was like, “If everything’s fifty-fifty, let’s just switch shirts for the day.”
Stoner #2: What’d he say then?
Stoner #1: He was like, “You got me, comrade. I need to think this one over.” And I was like, “Fuck yeah, you communist fuck.” Yeah, I told that guy all right. –Bus to Port Authority Overheard by: Cary Gitter

Snappy Questions to Stupid Questions

Girl #1: You are way more charitable than I am.
Girl #2: Are you saying that only Catholics are charitable?
Girl #1: What? –1 Train Overheard by: Karla In a crowded bathroom, a drunk guy at the short urinal calls over to his friend about six urinals down. Guy #1: Hey, man! Why is mine so small? Is yours this small?
Guy #2: What? –Penn Station men’s room Girl #1: Is it hot in here or are my eyes just burning?
Girl #2: What? –M66 bus Overheard by: Gabriella

Real Life Public Service Announcements (NYC Style)

Girl #1: Where have you been lately?
Girl #2: I’ve been with Caesar.
Girl #3: Yo, you’ve been skipping school for a week. What the fuck up with that?
Girl #2: Caesar has been treating me nice. Yo, he got a nice dick and we’ve been fucking every day.
Girl #1: Yo, you better be using protection or you going to be having little Caesars running around.
Girl #2: Yo, we do it raw ’cause he says rubbers don’t feel good on his dick.
Girl #3: Shit, bitch, you better watch yourself.
Old lady: Stop! Stop this talk! You should be ashamed of yourself. You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. Look at you! Your friends are ashamed of you! They can’t even look at you! You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. You should be ashamed. –M4 bus