Woman: Oh! I got you some Xanax for your wedding day. –14th & 9th Guy: I don’t call myself an alcoholic any more. I find it really hard to separate out my shit like that. –Washington Square South Woman: I think I’m just going to stay in and have a heroin night. –11th & University
Girl on cell: Do you think any galleries will be open on Sunday? –21st & Broadway Woman: He didn’t come here to be Korean; he moved here to be a hipster. Then he realized he could open a store, and he turned Korean. –2nd Avenue & 6th Street Private School girl: So is, like, everything in this place by Chanel? –Metropolitan Museum of Art Man: What do you mean, you ran out of keys? How does a hotel run out of keys? –The Hotel on Rivington Overheard by: Joe Quint Queer: Well I figured I make $7 an hour at Journey’s working full time. So if I cut back to part time and get a second job making $7 an hour, I’ll be making $14 an hour and I can pay all my bills! –Nederlander Theater, West 41st Street Overheard by: Nomi Malone
Blonde: I hate Anne Rice.
Brunette: Me too! Isn’t she dead?
Blonde: Oh God, no! Remember, she’s writing that Jesus novel?
Brunette: Oh right. For some reason I always think she’s dead. –The Strand Overheard by: Sexy Beast
Mother: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Daughter: A cop.
Mother A cop? You don’t want to be no cop, what do you want to be a cop for?
Daughter: So I can carry a gun.
Mother: You don’t need to be a cop to have a gun. Your dad ain’t no cop and he has a gun. –F train Overheard by: Paul Swenson
Man #1: Are you in line for the bus?
Man #2: The bus? No, I’m in line for the bathroom.
Man #1: Well, I’m waiting for the bus. –Starbucks, 43rd & 3rd Overheard by: Michelle
Woman: I stopped smoking six months ago, and now I’m lubricating so much better. I’m always wet at the right time.
–Lexington & 55th Deli
Guy: Is it raining?
Guy: Then why the fuck am I getting wet?
Girl: Because it’s drizzling. –Coney Island Overheard by: Gradie Smith Guy #1: She says she usually needs to make out for like a half hour before she starts to get wet.
Guy #2: You should just use your spit. –2nd Avenue station Overheard by: J.
Girl #1: Stop coughing! Who the fuck do you think you are?
Girl #2: John Lennon.
Girl #1: No. You’re not. –6th Avenue & 11th Street
Guy #1: Hey man, how you been?
Guy #2: Good, man.
Guy #1: What you been up to?
Guy #2: …Sorry man, just spaced out.
Guy #1: That’s cool, I am coked out of my mind right now anyway. –Cobble Hill
Hipster with bike: I swear dude, an entire dumpster, full of unopened boxes of Pop-Tarts.
Hipster without bike: Dude.
Hipster with bike: I swear man, I lived on them for the entire summer! –10th Street between 2nd & 3rd Overheard by: ann
Private School boy: Mummy, will you sing the song?!
Mummy: When I see a hearse go by, then I know the next to die… –Astoria