Three JHS boys pass a woman in a tight t-shirt and mini-skirt talking on her cell. One stares slack-jawed, then says to his buddies: Wow! That was the new Motorola. –79th Street between Columbus & Amsterdam Guy: As soon as I get my unemployment check, I’m going to buy a new TV. –Penn Station Woman on cell: I lost my sunglasses and I have cancer. –34th & Madison Overheard by: Lisa Boy, 8: Look Mom! I think Daddy likes the Hummer more than you. –Astoria Overheard by: Adam Kraemer Guy on pay phone: I haven’t decided if I prefer the smell of fresh urine or stale urine. I’ll let you know. –Hotel Edison, West 47th Street Guy: I told you what my goal is: to be lazy. 20 years from now, I want to be lazy. –St. Mark’s Place between 2nd & 3rd
Girl on cell: Do you think any galleries will be open on Sunday? –21st & Broadway Woman: He didn’t come here to be Korean; he moved here to be a hipster. Then he realized he could open a store, and he turned Korean. –2nd Avenue & 6th Street Private School girl: So is, like, everything in this place by Chanel? –Metropolitan Museum of Art Man: What do you mean, you ran out of keys? How does a hotel run out of keys? –The Hotel on Rivington Overheard by: Joe Quint Queer: Well I figured I make $7 an hour at Journey’s working full time. So if I cut back to part time and get a second job making $7 an hour, I’ll be making $14 an hour and I can pay all my bills! –Nederlander Theater, West 41st Street Overheard by: Nomi Malone
Blonde: I hate Anne Rice.
Brunette: Me too! Isn’t she dead?
Blonde: Oh God, no! Remember, she’s writing that Jesus novel?
Brunette: Oh right. For some reason I always think she’s dead. –The Strand Overheard by: Sexy Beast
Mother: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Daughter: A cop.
Mother A cop? You don’t want to be no cop, what do you want to be a cop for?
Daughter: So I can carry a gun.
Mother: You don’t need to be a cop to have a gun. Your dad ain’t no cop and he has a gun. –F train Overheard by: Paul Swenson
Woman: He’s not getting a new cell phone until the technology improves.
Man: Oh yeah, well I’m not commuting to work anymore until I get my flying car! –Public Theater, Lafayette Street Overheard by: Sean McArdle
Queer #1: That was a guest conductor, right? The short one.
Queer #2: You mean the hobbit?
Queer #1: Oh, I didn’t look at her feet.
Queer #2: Honey, it was a metaphor. –NY City Ballet, Lincoln Center
Man #1: Are you in line for the bus?
Man #2: The bus? No, I’m in line for the bathroom.
Man #1: Well, I’m waiting for the bus. –Starbucks, 43rd & 3rd Overheard by: Michelle
Conductor #1: This is 34th Street. Transfer is available to the B, Q, D…B…Q…Penn Station…D–
Conductor #2: Move over. D, Q, N, R. Stand clear. –F train Overheard by: Cole Couture Hipster: Did the train just pass 28th street?
Woman: Yes, it went express, but you could get off at 14th and switch to the uptown train.
Homeboy: Or you could take your chances, break the window with a crowbar and jump out now. –1 train Overheard by: Hayley Man: This won’t do. All bad smelling people get the hell off the train. At the next stop most of the car clears out. Man: That’s what I’m talking about. –A train A Black kid and his Hispanic girlfriend are arguing on the train. The kid is holding her in the seat and she is trying to rip off his shirt. The entire car is watching, as if it were a car wreck. Hispanic girl: You’re always showing off!
Black kid: What?
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black kid: Stop it!
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black passenger guy: Man, why’s it always gotta be our people pulling this shit? You never see White people pulling this shit. You never see Chinese people pulling this shit. Man! –C train Two women were sitting next to each other, one clearly from New York, the other not. The tourist woman gestured with her chin at the conductor’s booth and asked: Is that the bathroom? –A train
Woman: I stopped smoking six months ago, and now I’m lubricating so much better. I’m always wet at the right time.
–Lexington & 55th Deli
Guy: Is it raining?
Guy: Then why the fuck am I getting wet?
Girl: Because it’s drizzling. –Coney Island Overheard by: Gradie Smith Guy #1: She says she usually needs to make out for like a half hour before she starts to get wet.
Guy #2: You should just use your spit. –2nd Avenue station Overheard by: J.
Guy #1: Yo, I don’t even believe in water, alls I drink is Pepsi.
Guy #2: Yep yep, water’s for pussies. –47th & 9th