Overheard In New York

Archive for July, 2005

A Geico Commercial Waiting to Happen

Hobo: I’m sick of this city, I tell you. Please help me get out of here…Hey, did you just give me 2 pennies?
Guy: 3, actually.
Hobo: Ah, motherfucker! What the hell am I going to do with this? –Times Square

You’re Still Flaming

Man: Oh, man! Where have you been all my life?…Can I borrow your lighter?
Woman: Oh, thank goodness. I was like, “I’m flattered, but gay.” –57th & 5th Overheard by: (The) Heather Red

Apparently, We Won’t Never Forget

Tourist girl: We’re here! Wow, this is it!
Tourist mother: No, I don’t think it is. This isn’t the Soup Nazi!…You, where’s the Soup Nazi? –Daily Soup, 54th Street Girl: I’ve never been to that restaurant, I hear it’s nice.
Guy: Yeah, it’s got its own Nazi charm to it. –30th & Lexington office Southern girl: Why didn’t you come, Daddy? That was our stop!
Southern dad: We’ll ride this damn train till they tell us to get off. –E train Overheard by: Alyson Leigh Guy: This weather is like the Holocaust, except much much worse. –Park Slope Overheard by: mervis

Hmm…That is What an Evil Twin Would Say

Girl #1: My throat hurts. Does yours?
Girl #2: Um…no. Are we twins? Is it supposed to hurt? –Bed-Stuy Overheard by: roc luch

Hard to Find a Place That Maps Don’t Bother Listing

Midwestern girl: Man, New York stinks! “How was your trip to New York?” “It stinks!”
New York lady: Why don’t you go back to where you came from, then? –Times Square

Too Bad No One Reads It

Man: Oh, it is so good to hear English again.
Customs guy: Actually, I speak Brooklyn. –JFK Overheard by: Benjamin Silverberg

Orange You Glad He Didn’t Say Banana?

Suit #1: Sounds like Bugsy Siegel.
Suit #2: Yeah.
Suit #1: You know who Bugsy Siegel is, right?
Suit #2: Sure, yeah.
Suit #1: You know who he is?
Suit #2: Yeah. Look–
Suit #1: You know who he is?
Suit #2: Yeah, yeah–
Suit #1: Who is he, then?
Suit #1: Who gives a shit? –Broadway & Leonard deli Overheard by: Mel

She Should Have Dropped “Y’know What I’m Sayin’?”

Asian girl #1: Who’s that guy that’s not Steve Harvey?
Asian girl #2: Cedric the Entertainer.
Asian girl #1: Yeah, he might have been in The Cookout.
Asian girl #2: Oh my God, that’s so racist. “Who’s that guy that’s not Steve Harvey?”
Asian girl #1: Well, you knew who I was talking about! –McDonald’s, 85th & 3rd Overheard by: Aisha Moore

How Sleeping with a Girl Can Still Be Gay

Guy: It was hot, I can’t even tell you.
Girl: So you guys slept together?
Guy: Oh yeah, it was hot.
Girl: ’cause I talked to her this morning and she said you guys just cuddled and stuff.
Guy: Yeah, yeah, that’s what I meant by sleeping with her. Y’know, spooning and shit. –MetroTech Commons