Archive for July, 2005

Take a Deep Breath, Wednesday One-liners

Girl on cell: If you beat somebody up real bad and they press charges, how much time can you get for that?…No, if they press charges against you. –Macy’s Overheard by: Katie C Boy, 5: Lady, I’m gonna cut off your head and feed it to my family. –14th & 2nd Overheard by: djlindee

Not Quite a Match with Wednesday One-liners

Guy: Oh, excuse me!…Want to make out? –Centre & Chambers Overheard by: Chris Older man: …so they served these smaller things, like appetizers, in between the three main courses. You know how many they gave us? Four! There were four intercourses… –West 53 Street office Girl on cell: He shoots dope and smokes crack! I can’t think of a worse person for you to sleep with!…well, yeah, I guess… –81st & Madison Girl: I’d blow him every day if he’d let me drive his beamer more. –Sheep’s Meadow Tween girl: Shit, if I were 21, and he was like, “Yo, do you want some
beer?”, I’d be like, “Shit, only if you got a hotel room.” ’cause then
we could, like, go in it. –Starbucks, 34th & 7th Overheard by: marissa Daily News guy: …and I said, “Just take me now, bitch!” –Bar 288, Elizabeth Street DMV guy: Who’s here for oral? Did anyone in this line sign up for oral? –DMV, Atlantic Avenue Center Overheard by: RMC

The Rainbow Flag Hangs Over Wednesday One-liners

Queer: That’s why you never bring a drunk pussy to a gay club. –17th between 5th & 6th Overheard by: Robert Girl on cell: But wait, was she gay or was she lesbian? –8th & Broadway Queer on cell: Pussy? You mean Pussy?…No?… No, I know Hibiscus…Is that the one with the boyfriend at the bar?…Pussy!…Well, are you the good witch or the wicked witch? Oh, I guess that won’t work for you, you’ve never seen Wizard of Oz. –Madison Square Park Overheard by: mh Girl: Oh my God, I hear heterosexual voices! –18th & 8th Older guy: I’m still trying to figure out who designed this bathroom. I mean, whoever designed this place wanted something up their ass. –Pavilion movie theater, Park Slope Overheard by: Daniel Radosh Girl: Yeah, but I mean, this gay thing’s gonna be in him forever… –East Drive, Central Park Woman on cell: Well, if he wears a dress shirt with really nice jeans, that makes it a little less gay for them. –4th Avenue & 12th Street Overheard by: Tommy Raiko RuPaul II: Mmm, I would suck spare rib outta his dick…sauce and all. –Christopher Street Guy: Yeah, I don’t like lip rings that much. They get dirty too easily, y’know, from food and sucking cock… –MacDougal Tattoo, Sullivan Street Overheard by: gwen limbach Chelsea boy on cell: Hey, honey, I saw you leave with that hot bartender last night. I’m coming over with a couple of videos and that vinaigrette I borrowed, and you’re telling me everything. –21st & 7th Woman: Of course. I’m in and out of the closet all the time. –Dojo, St. Mark’s Place Overheard by: Ellen Girl on cell: So he told me that sucking cock didn’t make him gay…and I said, “How’s that if you never go down on me?”…fucking faggot! –F train

Wednesday One-liners, Where Are You?

Guy on cell: Where am I? I’m always some place watching some crazy shit. I’m watching some motherfuckin’ Indian shit, son. Some shit from some country. They’re doing a rain dance, son. It’s gonna motherfuckin’ rain soon. They’re doing a motherfuckin’ rain dance, son. They’re dancing and shit. –St. Mark’s Church Overheard by: Alex Romanovich Woman: Where are all the restaurants? –Times Square station Overheard by: Kate Woman on cell: Where am I? I’m at home; I’m just about to go down and get a cab. Where are you? –Gristede’s, 63rd & West End Overheard by: Susan Volchok Driving guy: Is this Brooklyn? –Central Park Overheard by: Captain Obvious Driving guy: Excuse me, which way is Manhattan? –40th & Broadway Girl: Excuse me sir, how do you get to Times Square? –42nd & Broadway Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti Man on cell: No, no. I’ll never make it. I’m still in Jersey. –85th & 2nd Overheard by: JDH

Wednesday One-liners Are All Over the Map

Fat chick: Every single website, every newspaper, if it’s under
$200,000, it’s in China. –Starbucks, Astor Place Drunk guy: So, where would you want to get your gall bladder taken out: France or New York? –1st Avenue & 3rd Street Overheard by: Lisa H. Girl: Oh, look. It says, “I Heart Someone in Austin”!…Oh…with autism. Never mind. –W. 249th & Independence, The Bronx Overheard by: Bianca Townshend College girl: The real reason I went to San Francisco is that I wanted to go to Japan, but that was as far as I could afford. –14th Street 1/2/3 station Overheard by: Kevin Sheldon Girl:…so do you actually eat Lucky Charms in Ireland? –Wall & Broad Overheard by: David McG Guy: Is that a cruise ship? Oh no, wait. It’s New Jersey. –Sunset Park rooftop Overheard by: c dub

Wednesday One-liners, Jr.

Mom: Maybe if you listen to me more you’ll get to see Mr. Snap Crackles…Mommy’s going to call him now. –Central Park Overheard by: Jake Glazier Chick on cell :…and then the other day, I had a little baby! Yeah! –116th & Broadway NY Post guy: It’s been confirmed! He’s dead! Harry Potter is dead! Killed in a magic train bus explosion. Read it here! –Penn Station Guy: …and you can’t get birthmarks shaped like WB characters. –Teany, Rivington St.