Alt girl: So his second cousin is also his dad. That’s fucking mashed up. –Times Square Teen girl: You sure it’s his, right? He didn’t take his cock out or nuthin’? –Laundry room, 108th & 2nd Overheard by: CK Allen Chick: Yeah, so I’ve been making out with my stepcousin lately. –Coney Island Overheard by: Kam Truhn
Hispanic mom: How much is the popcorn?
Concession Stand guy: Well the medium is $5 and the large is $5.50.
Hispanic mom: What’s the difference? Is the large just bigger? –Loews Lincoln Square, 68th Street Overheard by: ~dana
Old Italian lady #1: Your cat’s gonna get hit!
Asian Lady: Wha?
Old Italian lady #1: Your cat: it’s in the street! Someone’s gonna run over it!
Asian lady: Huh?
Old Italian lady #1: Your ca–
Old Italian lady #2: She doesn’t care about the cat. Those Orientals, they eat cats. –Carroll Gardens bodega
Little girl: That’s how you spell it? Why is there a “p”?
Mom: The doctors didn’t know how to spell it, so they just put a “p” at the beginning to make it look medical. –Greenpoint corner store
Girl #1: I wish I still smoked so I would have a reason to go outside every 20 minutes.
Girl #2: But then you’d have cancer. –Chelsea elevator
Guy #1: Do you want some of my water? I promise I don’t have cooties.
Guy #2: It’s not your cooties I’m worried about, it’s someone else’s.
Guy #1: No, I didn’t suck his dick. –F train Overheard by: Victor Villegas
Indie boy #1: I actually had that in my head, but then I wrote what I wrote because I wanted to give the character that New Jersey character.
Indie boy #2: But no one uses the word “guido” anymore. –Alt.Coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: annie
Guy: It’s so crazy, you know, leaving Manhattan.
Girl: I know, if you would have told me five years ago that I’d be living in Brooklyn I’d have laughed at you. –L train Overheard by: Benjamin
Chinese woman #1: Her husband is so cheap!
Chinese woman #2: Yeah, well…
Chinese woman #1: Where do you find someone like that?
Chinese woman #2: He’s a Shanghai-nese.
Chinese woman #1: Oh…Well, you know how those people are. Translated from the Chinese. –7 train
Guy: Here’s a muffin.
Hobo: I don’t eat cake. –3rd Avenue between Stuyvesant & St. Mark’s