Overheard In New York

Archive for September, 2005

“What, we’re going to end up on some lame blog?”

Girl: So are you still upset about her?
Guy: No, it’s okay, her breath smells funny…like poop.
Girl: I had a swim coach like that. So does her breath really smell like poop?
Guy: Did you have to say it that loud? –New York Public Library, 40th & 5th Overheard by: Andrew Marsh

So That’s Who Sparks Wrote Their Song About

Girl #1: All old people talk about is food.
Girl #2: Well, all we talk about is sex. –71st & 3rd Overheard by: sandy fishnets

Completely Unlike Lindsay

Chick #1: I saw Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan making out on the street and now she has his band’s symbol or whatever tattooed on her foot. They’re so going out.
Chick #2: Don’t you read the tabloids? That’s old news.
Chick #1: The tabloids said they fucked. Just because they fucked does not mean they’re going out. Look at me; I’ve fucked the whole world and I’m not seeing anyone. This time they’re going out.
Chick #2: Yeah, you are a whore. –Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th

Somewhere, Marcel Duchamp is Chortling

Guy #1: How was it?
Guy #2: It was cool. Paris was fun, except for a few days we spent at museums…We went one day to this place…The Love or something…I guess it was all right. There were definitely a lot of people there…Julie was freaking out about this one painting, though.
Guy #1: What painting?
Guy #2: The Mona Lisa.
Guy #1: …huh. Don’t think I know it…I’m not really an art person though.
Guy #2: Yeah, I didn’t know it either. It’s by Michelangelo I think. But I didn’t really get it…it’s really small. –Union Square station Overheard by: Stephanie Porto

Bonus Points for “You’re Fired” Usage

Mother: When I’m so old that I think it’s okay to wear a fanny pack, please just set me on fire and walk away.
Chick: Okay. –Brooklyn Heights Promenade

“Wow, I thought I was eating Hot Pockets!”

Guy #1: I realized what the worst food ever is.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Lean Pockets. –Gold’s Gym, W. 54th Street Overheard by: Blake Henderson

Blame the New Snarky Anne Frank Translation

Guy: So I was talking to my grandfather last night.
Girl: The one who survived Auschwitz?
Guy: No, the one who died there. –A train Overheard by: Greg Pierce

The Present of an Illusion

Girl: They’re making a musical of Siegfried and Roy’s life.
Guy: Didn’t they do that on Friends already?
Girl: They did?
Guy: Yeah, remember Joey was the singing psychiatrist? –Wall & Exchange Girl #1: I wish we coulda seen those magicians with the tigers, but they don’t perform anymore…
Girl #2: You mean Sigmund Freud and Roy? –Circulo Theater, E. 4th Street Overheard by: scott cendali