Archive for September, 2005

Completely Unlike Lindsay

Chick #1: I saw Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan making out on the street and now she has his band’s symbol or whatever tattooed on her foot. They’re so going out.
Chick #2: Don’t you read the tabloids? That’s old news.
Chick #1: The tabloids said they fucked. Just because they fucked does not mean they’re going out. Look at me; I’ve fucked the whole world and I’m not seeing anyone. This time they’re going out.
Chick #2: Yeah, you are a whore. –Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th

Somewhere, Marcel Duchamp is Chortling

Guy #1: How was it?
Guy #2: It was cool. Paris was fun, except for a few days we spent at museums…We went one day to this place…The Love or something…I guess it was all right. There were definitely a lot of people there…Julie was freaking out about this one painting, though.
Guy #1: What painting?
Guy #2: The Mona Lisa.
Guy #1: …huh. Don’t think I know it…I’m not really an art person though.
Guy #2: Yeah, I didn’t know it either. It’s by Michelangelo I think. But I didn’t really get it…it’s really small. –Union Square station Overheard by: Stephanie Porto

The Present of an Illusion

Girl: They’re making a musical of Siegfried and Roy’s life.
Guy: Didn’t they do that on Friends already?
Girl: They did?
Guy: Yeah, remember Joey was the singing psychiatrist? –Wall & Exchange Girl #1: I wish we coulda seen those magicians with the tigers, but they don’t perform anymore…
Girl #2: You mean Sigmund Freud and Roy? –Circulo Theater, E. 4th Street Overheard by: scott cendali

Snapple Fact: No One Was in the Men’s Room

A wheeltard, one leg a stump, grows more and more agitated while waiting for someone to come out of the men’s room. He starts banging his chair repeatedly into the door. Finally it opens. He rolls into the doorway. Wheeltard: I could kick your motherfucking ass if I had another leg, motherfucker! How do you know I don’t have a gun? In fact, I do have a gun! –McDonald’s, Delancey Street Overheard by: Sarah T.