Archive for September, 2005

No One Ever Says “He’s Hung Like a Pony”

Girl: Oh my God! I meant to tell you!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yesterday I was walking on 5th Avenue and this horde of middle-aged women stopped me to ask where I got my Ralph Lauren shirt.
Guy: No way!
Girl: It was great.
Guy: The one with the big horse on it?
Girl: It’s a pony, not a horse!
Guy: What’s the difference?
Girl: It’s different.
Guy: Can you explain the difference?
Girl: No. –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: pixelvisions

Heavily Rumored to Be a Biplane

Guy #1: So apparently, Jodie Foster loses her daughter on this, like, plane that she designed.
Guy #2: Whoa, really?
Guy #1: Yeah, and it’s supposed to be like the biggest plane ever built.
Guy #2: Wait, Jodie Foster in real life? –Cantor Film Center, E. 8th Street Overheard by: Emily Pearle

Where is King Syphilitic Dementia’s “Fireplace”?

Hobo: I am the king, bow down before me…The president of the United States is a retarded fuck. American people don’t care about life. Why fight for America? Fuck sending a bunch of people over there to kill and be killed. It’s ridiculous. Bush thinks it’s okay. He’s the dictator, he’s the bad man. If I ever get my hands on him, I’m gonna torture his ass. I’ll cut his dick off. I’ll take a pipe from the fireplace and stick it up his ass. I’m the king. I’ll always be the king. I say this…Don’t ever believe America. America is godless. The people are full of shit. Anyone who goes to war for America has got to be out their motherfuckin’ mind. –Central Park Overheard by: psd

Why Even the Rich Love Public Transportation Here

A black guy with a boom box comes on the train. Boom box guy: This next song is for everyone who don’t feel good about himself when he get up in the morning. You gotta know that everyone is beautiful in they own right, and when you get up you gotta feel smoove. He starts playing a song on the boom box and sings along. He and his three friends bop their heads to the beat and try to get other passengers to sing too. Then the conductor begins to makes an announcement. Boom box guy lowers the music. Boom box guy: Everyone best be listening to what the man has to tell us. –6 train Girl: Excuse me. Excuse me.
Man: No. –Whitehall SI Ferry terminal

Now That’s What I Call Service

Guy: You can never underestimate the importance of cuticles.
Girl: Yeah, you can. –108th & Amsterdam Drunk girl: Is that the line for the bathroom?
Sober guy: No, that’s people who like looking at the bathrooms. –Harry’s, Long Island City Overheard by: Trix Pretty boy: Man, I think I’m getting a migraine.
Southern chick: Guys don’t get migraines, they get cluster headaches.
Pretty boy: Go the fuck back to the prairie, Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman. –Delancey & Orchard Overheard by: dj wantwo Guy #1: I just don’t like the taste of water.
Guy #2: Who doesn’t like water?
Guy #1: Me. –Palladium, 14th Street Overheard by: Brian