Archive for September, 2005

No One Ever Says “He’s Hung Like a Pony”

Girl: Oh my God! I meant to tell you!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yesterday I was walking on 5th Avenue and this horde of middle-aged women stopped me to ask where I got my Ralph Lauren shirt.
Guy: No way!
Girl: It was great.
Guy: The one with the big horse on it?
Girl: It’s a pony, not a horse!
Guy: What’s the difference?
Girl: It’s different.
Guy: Can you explain the difference?
Girl: No. –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: pixelvisions

Those Incomprehensible Youth Gay Codes

Boy inside elevator: Going up?
Boy outside elevator: I’m going down.
Boy inside elevator: Well, I’m in the elevator, and I’m going up.
Boy outside elevator: Oh…fine, be that way. –Lafeyette Street Residence Guy #1: Dude, you still sleeping in the closet?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: You got an air mattress or anything in there yet?
Guy #2: Yeah, I’ve got a little mattress in there now. Still pretty sad though…I’m also drunk. –East Campus dorm, Columbia University Overheard by: merrellham

She Works Magic with That Trunk–in the Kitchen

Magyar lady #1: See that woman over there? Why does a woman that big come out of the house?
Magyar lady #2: And that floral dress? She looks like an elephant!
Magyar lady #1: Oh look, the elephant is walking past again.
Magyar lady #2: Why don’t any of the elephant’s friends tell her how bad she looks?
Guy on next bench: If you ladies will excuse me, I’m off to go join my wife, the elephant. Translated from the Hungarian. –Fort Tryon Park Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Heavily Rumored to Be a Biplane

Guy #1: So apparently, Jodie Foster loses her daughter on this, like, plane that she designed.
Guy #2: Whoa, really?
Guy #1: Yeah, and it’s supposed to be like the biggest plane ever built.
Guy #2: Wait, Jodie Foster in real life? –Cantor Film Center, E. 8th Street Overheard by: Emily Pearle