Chick: How’s the leg?
Guy: They can’t find it anywhere…Halloween, you know.
Chick: Well, next year, don’t go as a pirate.
Guy: The thing is, next year I kind of have to go as a pirate.
–Central Park Zoo
Archive for October, 2005
He Means…Himself! (Happy Halloween)
Old Latina: Nice flowers.
Hispanic guy: Thanks. Unfortunately, they’re for a dead person.
–1 train
Overheard by: Chris McDade
Yes…Her Own! (Happy Halloween)
Old man: I like your outfit.
Old woman: Thanks, I wore it at a funeral last night.
–Morris Park
Overheard by: Lon Steinberg
Flame Retardant (Happy Halloween!)
A mom points to the window of a sex shop, at a jacked mannequin wearing a mask and feather boa. She says: Hey honey, maybe that’s what you could be for Halloween.
Little boy: No, Mommy. I want to be a fireman.
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: Jon
Yet He Hasn’t Killed Since SNL (Happy Halloween!)
Ghetto boy: Who’s your favorite killer of all time?
Ghetto girl: Definitely Michael Myers. He’s, like, the most realistic and has the best personality.
–R train
Unless They Get Disowned (Happy Halloween!)
Guy: So you still going to be an elf for Halloween?
Girl: No, actually I’m going to be a fairy, but fairies are part of the elf family.
–6th & B
An Overheard Horror Story (Happy Halloween!)
Girl: Ginger is what pussy would look like if it was sliced.
–Sako Sushi, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Joanna Kim
Girl: What is that?
Guy #1: Tuna.
Girl: Tuna with what?
Guy #2: Tuna with delicious.
–Sushi Seki, 1st Avenue
Overheard by: KMR
“They don’t; I ate their brains!” (Happy Halloween)
College girl: Is it possible to bring back the dead?
Professor guy: Well, for now, scientists are working on making a
single cell, which is creating life. That’s not the same as bringing
back the dead. That poses the “life after death” question.
College girl: I think about zombies all of the time.
Professor guy: All of the time?
College girl: Yeah, I’m always thinking about zombies.
Professor guy: What do your parents think?
–Meyer Hall, Washington Place
Overheard by: Steven Greenbaum
Whoopi’s Much Scarier (Happy Halloween!)
Girl: We watched The Color Purple on friday night.
Guy: Oh god. How about when Oprah Winfrey comes through that cornfield?
Girl: No shit. Now I know who I’m going to be for Halloween.
–40th & 9th
It’s Pronounced Schwartz (Happy Halloween!)
Drunk girl #1: So I think I am going to go as something I totally hate for Halloween.
Drunk girl #2: What are you going as?
Drunk girl #1: I think I am either going as a Jew or a Chinese person
or a tourist.
Drunk girl #2: Hey, you know I am Jewish, don’t you?
Drunk girl #1: I don’t care, I am definitely going as a Jew.
Drunk girl #2: Shots?
–37th & 3rd
Overheard by: Brian McCormick