Chick on cell: Um, it’s me, and you know what? I just sent you and email that was all like, “I don’t want to think about it, I just want to blah blah blah.” I changed my mind. I do want to think about it, and you know what happens when I do? I say, ew! Yuck, yuck, yuck, ew, ew, yuck. argh! Ugh! Ugh! I’m so grossed out right now I cannot even tell you. What a fucking asshole. Asshole, asshole, asshole. I hate him, I hate him. He’s a big dick. A big dick. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m walking around the streets of New York swearing, but god knows I’m not the first person. Holy shit, what a dick. Ew. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Call me back. Bye! –Union Square
Archive for November, 2005
Heavenly Wednesday One-liners
Hobo: You people are all evil…You are oppressors…You’re gonna be up shit’s creek when Moshiach comes! –37th & Broadway Overheard by: Alexander
Wednesday One-liners Watch Too Much TV
Dude: Are you suggesting MacGyver is my penis? –F train Overheard by: Giovanni Diaz
Wednesday One-liners Rifle Through the Trash
Guy: Dude, no one uses “hobo” in a sentence anymore. –McCoy’s Bar, 9th Avenue
Wednesday One-liners: The Pole
Old man on pay phone: If I see another nigger on this street, I’m gonna rip his dick off and eat it! –Chambers & Church Overheard by: Ziggy
Wednesday One-liners: The Hole
Guy on cell: Yo baby, you better be keeping that pussy wet for me. –Fulton & Gold Overheard by: Prof A
A Pink Triangle of Wednesday One-liners
Crazy man: Why you gotta stick your dick in a man? How can you be a Latin King and stick your dick in a man? –6 train Overheard by: Dirt “Chainsaw” Dog
Wednesday One-liners by Dolly Parton
Girl: Have you seen my mom’s titties? –A train Overheard by: Matt Gossett
Wednesday One-liners Go to the Health Club
Tour chick: …And up that street is the gym. I’ve never been in there but I’m sure it’s full of glistening weights and…I don’t know…glistening bodies… –Washington Square Park
Wednesday One-liners Don’t Speak Truth
Guy on cell: Oh, wow, that’s too bad. You know I would help you out if I were in New York. I am on the West Coast, I flew out yesterday, I am standing on Rodeo Drive. –73rd & 3rd