Woman: I mean, I don’t want to break up with him, but I just don’t think I can date an amputee. –Hungarian Pastry Shop, Amsterdam Avenue Overheard by: Jeff Julian
Indian man: You’re the stupidest lady in the world…You see her? She’s the stupidest lady in the world. You are #1! –7 train Overheard by: isabelle
Girl #1: Man, I really want some cigarettes, but I don’t have any cash.
Girl #2: Sorry, I don’t have any cash either.
Girl #1: Look, I found a 20! God like totally wants me to smoke. –Broadway & Prince
Guy #1: I told you I wanted a pineapple.
Guy #2: It’s November.
Guy #1: And?
Hobo: Pineapple and coconuts are made from computers. And you can tell! –77th & 1st Overheard by: Big Z
White chick: Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you…how do you say “hello” in Korean?
Asian chick: I don’t know; I’m Chinese, bitch! –Starbucks, 44th & Broadway
Girl #1: Excuse me! Sir!…Why is the water level so low?
Girl #2: Yeah, are they like draining the Hudson River for the winter or something? Isn’t that like bad for the boats? –79th Street Boat Basin
Suit #1: Who would win in a fight, a cheetah or a chimpanzee?
Suit #2: Definitely the cheetah.
Suit #1: But what if the chimpanzee kicked the cheetah in the balls? –34th & Madison
Trainer guy #1: How do you say “sixty-nining” in Chinese?
Trainee lady: I don’t know…How do you say it in Trinidadian?
Trainer guy #2: There is no language called Trinidadian. They speak English. It was a British colony.
Trainee lady: What happened? –New York Health & Racquet Club, Whitehall Street
Promoter guy: Do you girls like comedy?
Girl #1: No.
Promoter guy: You telling me you girls don’t like to
Girl #2: Laughing is against our religion.
Promoter guy: And what religion would that be?
Girl #1: Mormon. –Broadway between Bleecker & Houston
Tween girl #1: Oh my god, is it wrong that I want him inside me?
Tween girl #2: Uh, yeah, especially since you’re like 13 and a virgin.
Tween girl #1: Oh my god, shut up! I don’t want all these New Yorkers to know I’m a virgin! –50th & 6th