Archive for November, 2005

Define “Better”

Drunk boy: God, fucking Bedford is so fucking gentrified.
Drunk girl: Go to the Lorimer stop. It’s way better there. –Bedford Avenue station Overheard by: Ami

Sharpie is Just Their Name, Dimwit

Asian girl: So he gave me directions to go meet him.
White guy: What? I ain’t goin there, that neighborhood is all Cripped out! I ain’t about to get shot!
Asian girl: Look, I can call a car service to pick us up at the train station if it’s that big of a deal.
White guy: Naw, I’m kiddin’, I’ll just stab ‘em with a pen. –Walgreens, 4th Avenue

She Admires Their Ability to Smear Their Foes

Lady lawyer: Hey, what animal year are you?
Boy attorney #1: The monkey, I think.
Boy attorney #2: Dude, chimpanzees freak me out after seeing Outbreak.
Boy attorney #1: That was a monkey, not a chimpanzee.
Lady lawyer: The thing I don’t like about monkeys is their butts. –Office, East 45th Street