Hobo: Can anyone spare $100? I’m trying to get to Hawaii. A man hands him a dollar bill. Hobo: Can any one spare $99? I’m trying to get to Hawaii. –12th & 7th Overheard by: Zimmy
Girl: Did you hear about that new dog they’re breeding? It’s called
Guy: What kinda dog is that?
Girl: Oh, it’s a pug and um…um…a bugle. –Deli, 53rd & 6th Overheard by: Janelle F
Woman: He wants the pad tai with chicken, no vegetables.
Man: I can’t have vegetables. My vegetarian wife just left me. –Tai Hong Lau, Mott Street Overheard by: Amie
Girl #1: …so he’d just sit in the back of the room jerking off and nobody could say anything because he was special.
Girl #2: Let me get this straight: he couldn’t control his motorized wheelchair but he could beat off?
Girl #1: Where there’s a will there’s a way. –Tisch School of the Arts, Broadway & Waverly Overheard by: D
Black girl: I didn’t want to say this in there, but have you noticed how all Mexican men working in bars and restaurants look the same?
White girl #1: Well I bet they all think that white women look the same.
White girl #2: Well all elephants probably look the same to gorillas. –West 3rd Street & 6th Avenue
Guy #1: Yo, them pants is hot, where’d you get ‘em?
Guy #2: Muthafuckin’ eBay, nigga! –7th & Bleecker Overheard by: Eve’s droppings
Girl: When you were talking about Saddam Hussein, it reminded me of Osama bin Laden. Wasn’t he born here or something?
Professor lady: No…
Girl: Then he grew up here?
College girl: Oh, right! He came here to go to an Ivy League, didn’t he? –Tisch Hall, West 4th Street
Guy #1: You talk about cock more than girls I know who suck it every weekend.
Guy #2: Um, are you insinuating that I’m gay?
Guy #1: I don’t need to insinuwait anything.
Guy #3: You’re both gay.
Guy #1: Suck my cock, bitch. –79th & Amsterdam Overheard by: AChest Drunk guy: Let me ask you something…What are the chances that you’ll let me take you home and blow you?
Sober guy: Not very likely.
Drunk guy: See, it’s just that my girlfriend is out of town and I really want to suck you off.
Sober guy: Um. No. –75th & Columbus
Queer #1: Ick. He’s like, your cousin or something.
Queer #2: First cousin. Second cousin. Once removed.
Queer #1: But not a cousin cousin.
Queer #2: Right.
Queer #1: That’s still grody.
Queer #2: I love that skirt on her. –33rd & 8th
Guy: I really don’t watch that much porn.
Chick: I woke up in the middle of the night that one time, and you were totally sitting in your desk chair watching porn!
Guy: I was just switching files between hard drives and I wanted to make sure the porn file still worked. –D’Agostino, 110th & Broadway Overheard by: djlindee