Chick on cell: …It was the worst. First of all, he have a big dick. And to make things worse, he did not know how to fuck…I mean, come on, what the hell is that all about?…Uh huh, yeah, you are probably right…and another thing he couldn’t fit…I guess my pussy was too small or something…yeah, uh huh, I don’t think so. It’s not worth the trouble. Would you go back?…Exactly. –Time Square Overheard by: Jada
Guy #1: Yeah, but you have a girlfriend.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she needs to lose weight.
Guy #1: Hmm, well how much weight do you think she needs to lose?
Guy #2: About 40 pounds. She says to me, “Why don’t we make love anymore?” and I’m like, “Why the hell do you think?”. –2 train
Girl: You need more to do. Want to look for a cool coffee table for me?
Guy: What kind? Wood, metal, glass, bamboo, brick?
Girl: I’m not sure. I thought round, wood at first but now I think maybe something more funky like mosaic.
Guy: Why not make one? Then it could be round wood with a mosaic on it.
Girl: But that requires effort on my part.
Guy: So what? It would be fun and worthwhile, you know, instead of putting makeup on HIV people. –49th & 6th Overheard by: Scott
Girl #1: Sorry I’m late! Brian and I were discussing the logistics of turning my Statue of Liberty figurine into a bong.
Girl #2: It’s always something with you. –Starbucks, Astor Place Overheard by: Djlindee
Man #1: Yo, tell him about it!
Man #2: OK, so I got two hookers tonight, but if you want we can get more.
Man #3: That’s all right man, sharing is caring. –NA, 14th Street Overheard by: Katerina Leznik
Chick #1: She’s also doing her research project on fag thugs.
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Like, gay people who are thugs.
Chick #2: They have those?
Chick #1: Apparently. –Pratt
Businesschick on cell: Awww yeah…guess who doesn’t have work today?….Awww yeah, people trying to blow up my building and shit…I think I just saw a tank driving down my street…Wait, I gotta roll, some weird number is popping up on my cellie. –51st & 3rd
Girl: …and he says to me, “DSL”.
Girl: I was like, “DSL, what the fuck does that mean?”.
Boy: What did he say?
Girl: “Dick Suckin’ Lips.” And I said, now hold on–
Boy: Damn… –58th & 8th Overheard by: Ed C
Girl: I like dogs!
Guy: Yeah, right.
Girl: Actually I’m violently allergic to them. –Houston & Eldridge
Short guy: You from Guyana?
Black chick: Yes, I am.
Short guy: Damn! I can always tell a Guyanese woman!
Black chick: Oh yeah? How?
Short guy: By your front teeth. You all have that funny gap thing going on. See? You got it too! –3 train Overheard by: Karen Seiger