Man on phone: Listen, I know I’m like the 500th person to tell you this, but you’ve got a problem…No, I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic! You just drink too much! –NYSC, 7th Ave & 10th St
Teen girl on cell: Yo! Where da fuck you be at?! You come pick us up this fucking second; it’s so fucking cold out here, my twat’s got ice on it! –Union Square
Boy: Mommy, Mommy! Let’s pretend I’m Jesus and everyone wants to kill me.
Mommy: I don’t think I want to play that game. –Central Park
HS girl: OK, OK, I got it. This will solve everyone’s problems: Jamal, you need to eat Anna out. –Union Square
Guy on cell: What, you thought they were going to let fat people into the club? –N train
White Guy: White people can’t dance.
White Girl: I’m white and I can dance.
White Guy: Yeah, but you have tits. Anyone with tits looks good when they dance. –Happy Ending, Chinatown
Man on cell: I would fucking marry the girl, if it wasn’t for every time I went down on her she tasted like hummus.
–3rd Ave. & 11th St.
Guy #1: Dude, I think you have a porn addition.
Guy #2: 5 gigabytes is not an addiction! –Midwood Public Library Overheard by: Roman S
Guy #1: Dude, did you hear that Arnold Schwarzenegger died in a car crash?
Guy #2: No way! That’s not true, is it?
Guy #1: I dunno. I am asking you. –F train Overheard by: Alex Wipf
Hairstylist: Hey Jo Jo, what’s with that lady with all that body hair?
Jo Jo: She’s an old tree hugger. She never quit living in the 60s. Her kids and husband smell too. –Hair Salon, Madison & 52nd