Guy #1: Hey, that looks like it says the Hater Building! Guy #2: Hey, doesn’t that look like it says the Hater Building? –Haier Building, 36th & 6th
Guy #1: Aw…
Guy #2: What happened?
Guy #1: That Terri Schiavo, the one with the feeding tube. She died.
Guy #2: Yeah, that’s too bad…I wonder what would happen if you were to blow air through the feeding tube. Do you think she would fart? –The Westminster lobby, 20th & 7th
Little girl #1: My dad wants to write books but doesn’t.
Little girl #2: Why not?
Little girl #1: Well, he’s busy.
Little girl #2: Why doesn’t he just quit his job and start writing a book?
Little girl #1: I dunno…maybe because we won’t have any money?
Little girl #3: Ooh, then you could move to Vermont! –F train
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, there is a smoke condition at Chambers Street. We will be delayed pulling into 42nd Street.
Teen boy: What the fuck is a smoke condition? My mom has a smoke condition. Subways don’t. –1 train
Woman: …you know, he was much darker than the other kids who were really white, so he was called a nigger. He was dyslexic.
Woman: But he was a strong boy. One time when he was bitten by a dog, I came in to his room and he was lying there with blood on him. He didn’t scream or say a word…a very strong boy.
Man: What are you talking about? –Times Square
Chick: I got a washing machine at home but it don’t fit. I got too many clothes.
Guy: Ain’t you never heard of loads?
Chick: What you mean?
Guy: Doing it once at a time.
Chick: Shoot, I be doing clothes forever if I do that shit. –Herald Square Overheard by: Trish
Girl on cell: How’s your aneurysm? I mean, you’re still alive, right? –Hunter College
HS girl: Do you listen to 50 Cent? Oh, my god, he is so good!
HS guy: Do you know what they say when you are listening to 50 Cent?
HS girl: What do they say?
HS guy: What are you listening to when you have two quarters next to your ear?
HS girl: Ha, ha…I don’t get it. –Q46 bus Overheard by: Ting
Tourist woman: I had no idea the Guggenheim Museum was so cheesy looking. What’s it made out of? Is that papier mache or something?
Tourist man: Well, I remember reading somewhere that Frank Lloyd Wright really was a nut. –5th Ave. & 88th St. Overheard by: Galen Chistopher
Scottish chick on cell: He’s sort of like the John Tesh of tonsils, isn’t he? –60th & 1st Overheard by: zunshyn Guy: I think I know enough about compound plastic to perform basic dentistry. –1/9 train Overheard by: Kathryn Galloway Tech kid: I can, like, smell which microphone you’re using. –NYU Education building, Washington Square east