Archive for 2005

Call Me, Ishmael

Chick #1: I still haven’t make him come! It’s become, like, the major quest of my life.
Chick #2: So, basically, you’re Captain Ahab and he’s your Moby Dick?
Chick #1: Do you spend your spare time sitting around and thinking up these retorts?
Chick #2: I lead an empty life. –Dallas BBQ, 8th & University Overheard by: Djlindee

I Sense a Craigslist Ad Coming

Chick #1: What’s the matter?
Chick #2: My fucking tits are sore and I’m starting to get horny. My period is probably coming. Shit.
Chick #1: That happens to you too? I thought it was just me.
Chick #2: I am so fucking horny I would fuck any man right now.
Chick #1: You got it bad.
Chick #2: I’ll just go home and use my vibrator, what the hell. –68th & Lexington Overheard by: princess

Maybe You Need to Lose 40 Pounds

Chick on cell: …It was the worst. First of all, he have a big dick. And to make things worse, he did not know how to fuck…I mean, come on, what the hell is that all about?…Uh huh, yeah, you are probably right…and another thing he couldn’t fit…I guess my pussy was too small or something…yeah, uh huh, I don’t think so. It’s not worth the trouble. Would you go back?…Exactly. –Time Square Overheard by: Jada