Archive for 2005

Literacy: The Most Offensive Ghetto Stereotype

HS girl #1: I read five books a week and my parents get mad at me because it costs them a lot of money.
HS girl #2: I read like five books a week too, but I get mine from the library.
HS girl #1: Oh, that’s ghetto. –Times Square Fat Black guy: They ain’t got nuthin’ in here for someone from the ghetto! –Starbucks, Astor Place Barnes & Noble Overheard by: Dan Avery

You Keep Saying It, We’ll Keep Posting It

Black girl: Some motherfucker put me on this site called overheardinnewyork.com. It’s so fucked up. Why would anyone put what I said on the streets to a site? This shit is not fucking funny.
Black guy: What was put up? I gotta check this out, this shit sounds funny.
Black girl: You were there, it was the time I told this Chinese nigger to apologize and he ended up telling me to go fuck myself, and it was posted by some motherfucker called Ting. Is that even a real fucking name?
Black guy: Yeah, I remember that, that shit was hilarious.
Black girl: Fuck you laughing at? Don’t make me rip your balls out. –Q46 bus Overheard by: Ting (again!)

The PC Keeps Going on Siesta

Clerk: What’s in the box you’re shipping?
Customer: A computer.
Clerk: Where’s it going?
Customer: Spain.
Clerk: Is that domestic?
Customer: No, that’d be fairly international. –Kinko’s, Duane Street Overheard by: Joshua Cody Girl: Bitch, for the last time, Spain is not part of Latin America! –Columbia University dorm

Overheard in the Headlines: The Train Bridge Fire

Conductor: We’re experiencing some slight delays. There seems to be a power outage in the station. Or on the tracks. Or there might be an Amtrak line down. You should probably get off now and take the PATH. And if you didn’t hear this message the other three times, I’ll be saying it again in 30 seconds. –Penn Station Overheard by: gigglechick Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re on Track A, which is normally an eastbound track. We’re waiting for written instructions to depart. They’re probably making copies for us right now. Thank you for your patience. –Newark Penn Station Overheard by: gigglechick

Coffins Now 10% Off with Student ID!

Employee: Can I leave at 5?
Boss: Why?
Employee: I cannot work here for more than 5 hours day, for medical reasons.
Boss: What reason?
Employee: Well, this work is so dull and unsatisfying that if I work more than 5 hours a day I could jump out the window?
Boss: Wait, did you say you go to NYU? –22nd Street office Bystander guy #1: Congratulations!
Bystander guy #2: One sixteenth of you are gonna make it! –NYU Graduation Ceremony, Washington Square Park

The Abortion Debate: Pro

Mom: Why don’t you like to play with Tommy? He likes to play with you when you get home from school.
Little girl: I’m very busy, you know. At 6:00, I eat dinner. At 7:00, I brush my teeth. At 8:00, I do my homework. At 9:00 I go to bed. I’m sorry, but Tommy will just have to take a number. –M14 bus Chick #1: Y’all heard Denelle pregnant?
Chick #2: Damn, I can’t imagine tryin ta have no baby. If I had a baby then I couldn’t hang out wit y’all no more.
Chick #3: Shit, we need to git you a man, then. I’m tired o’ yo broke ass! –D train