Hobo: Hey, man! Don’t ever sit on the curb. It’s bad luck, man. I’ve been on the street for 25 years. 25 years! And I have never sat on the curb. You should never sit on the curb. Take it from me, I’ve been on the streets for 25 years. It’s bad luck. –7th & A Overheard by: Devin Sinski
Russian guy on cell: Who wouldn’t want to fuck me? I’m tall, handsome, talkative, and intelligent. Hell I want to fuck myself. –68th & 1st Overheard by: laura holden
Professor: What is significant about the character’s reaction?
Chick: Well, you can tell he’s scared because he’s really pale.
Professor: …what do you mean, he’s pale? It’s a black and white film, they’re all pale. –New School film class
Guy: Why is that package open?
Clerk: I can’t open it.
Guy: It’s already opened, why is it open?
Clerk: Sir, I’m not allowed to open it. If you want it, sign the card.
Guy: I want to know why it’s open, is anything in it?
Clerk: I can’t open it. 3 minutes of this ensue. Guy: Just give me the stupid package.
Clerk: Why are you still talking? –Sunnyside post office
Man on cell: Dave? Hi, it’s Vince…fine, and you? Great. Listen, Dave, my boss was really interested in your video work, and he’d love to see more…yes, right. He’s going to want you to come in for an interview. But I have to ask you a question, okay? How do you feel about cum shots? –Broadway & 52nd Overheard by: Meg Kane
White guy: Did I tell you I met a White chick?
Girl: No…do you like her?
White guy: She’s cool. She’s from Brooklyn, so that softens the blow. –Times Square
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There is this guy scratching his balls, going deep. A little girl is around him, and two ladies are about to walk by. After observing the ball scratching and the little girl, one lady says: She is going to be scarred for life. –Park Slope Overheard by: Tamika J.
Lab coat guy: So, her son’s name is Spike? Who names their kid Spike?
Blue shirt guy: No. His real name is something stupid like Leonard. –Washington Mutual, 71st & 1st
Punk chick: Yeah, so my boss totally has this $20,000 rock in his yard.
Hipster chick: No way, like a diamond?
Punk chick: No, like a fucking rock. –6 train