Archive for 2005

Goth v. Preppy: The Archie Paradigm

Girl #1: So, like, I’m deciding between these two guys. One’s really hot, and like, Goth and stuff–he listens to Cradle of Filth–and the other’s all preppy and sweet.
Girl #2: Uh huh. That’s so Tess of the d’Urbervilles.
Girl #1: Uh huh. And so, I’m all conflicted. The preppy one’s so sweet! He’s trying to get me not to do drugs. He’s all, “Don’t do heroin!”
Girl #2: That’s sweet, I guess. Wait: do you do drugs?
Girl #1: Well, no. I might have done pot once, but I was so wasted I couldn’t tell. –The Strand

Don’t Feel Bad for Santos’ Little Helper

Guy: I’m doing a house in the Hamptons, but I only know one person, this one girl. So I get an e-mail to meet everyone for drinks on Thursday, and I look at the names and it’s girl girl girl, girl girl, Santos, girl girl girl…and I’m like, “OK, am I the only guy in this house?”. And she said there’s a couple other guys coming out for 1 or 2 weekends. So I’m like, “OK, all girls, that’s cool. Are they cute?” and she says, “Yeah, they’re all cute.” So I said, “Well, I’m not matching the first couple weeks, they’ll think I’m gay!” She said, “Yeah don’t match, they’ll think you’re gay.” So I’m not matching. Plus they’re going to see “Santos” and think I’m freakin’…card-carrying…freakin’…off the boat, just swam the…freakin’ Florida canal…from Cuba or something. –V train Overheard by: kt